Would you like the truth?

Would you like the truth?

I like Superman because of Superman ice cream.

I like Audrey Hepburn because my dad said I reminded him of her when I was 15, and little did he know I had already loved her.

I like Pac-Man because when I was little I would play it in Buddy’s Pizza and got a mini joystick one for my Birthday one year to play after school. I spent hours on that thing.

I like Jeeps because my moms best friend would drive me in a bright yellow one to school when I was seven where at one point she backed into a tree and I said “be careful of the fucking tree” and that became some joke years later.

I like panic! at the disco because of Brendan Urie and Dan Howell re-introducing me to them.

I like the Beatles because I grew up with the Beatles music and made a point to mention something Beatles whenever I saw it anywhere partially because my dad likes them too.

I like to write because it clears my head, it’s fun, and I’ve also been doing it since I was seven.

I liked the newspaper for the comics, mainly the comics. That is also one of me and my dads things I guess. I also liked the paper because of Gilmore Girls, not solely because I liked being in the paper for eating a donut when I was little at my favorite cider mill (I was like 4, me recollecting this memory is nbd and never has been).

I like to read because I love books, always have, and would even get dropped off at the library after school before my mom went to her second job, partially because I had to, but definitely because I loved it since I can remember. Moving on from Nancy drew in the kids section to the teen books was big for me. 😂

I like having a YouTube channel because I get to post mini videos about my life, disinteresting to a lot of people but great for me since I’ll want to watch them back when I’m 80 years old.

I have never once liked any of my favorite things for anyone else.

Those, if any, corresponded with my favorite person at any point in time – those were a coincidence.

And I’ve never lied about “movie moments,” not a single damn time.

I’m sorry if I’ve caused you trouble, I’ve never meant to be a problem.

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Whisk Me Away – What Could’ve Been

Grab my hand and whisk me away under water.

Where no one can see us.

Where waves crash and the orange melts with the pink and the yellow in the sky… signaling its time to swim to shore.

We both stay afloat on our own.

I see his eyes lock with mine as I come up for air, almost sinking moments before.

He watches me.

I paddle around, make faces, splash water, and he just watches me.

Then BOOM.

He spreads his arms out, pulling me down to the bottom of the water; where the sand meets feet, where I meet my match.

Others find our little hideout in the middle of the sea, and he still notices me.

What am I to him?

A question I don’t bother to ask.

Screw the sea, this is our floor.

This is where it begins.

We dance our way to who is best when it comes to maneuvering around the waves.

Encouraging each other, behave.

This is the way it should be.

Drowned in each other rather than drowned in worries and fables.

He’s reached for the best of me, for so long, waited for the best of me, and I didn’t pull back this time. I’ve finally accepted that he’s all mine.

Groceries and Working Out

I’m trying to eat healthier. Last year around march I started working out and eating better and it made a world of a difference for me. Not only did it feel good because my body felt good, but it lowered my anxiety and just made everything else seem easier.

I’m not saying drop everything and eat fruit instead, but incorporating more fruits, veggies, and even yogurt can help your body feel and be it’s best.

I recently gained a lot of weight and was thinking about how last year I felt so powerful so I decided I was going to start eating better again at least, and slowly building up my workout again.

This is what I got from the grocery store today, for anyone that’s curious. Healthier is a better word than healthy I guess. 😉

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Here you’ll find:

eggs

potatoes

asparagus

silk yogurt; blueberry and strawberry

blueberries

raspberries

pineapple

goldfish

silk almond milk

shrimp

pork chops

cherry tomatoes

strawberry kiwi snapple X2

life cereal

What’s in my bag

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these and I’ve transitioned from shoulder bags to backpacks recently too. Here is what’s in my bag:

1. A book

2. A notebook

3. Gum

4. Rollerball perfume

5. The basics of makeup: Concealer, blush, mascara, lipgloss

6. Lip balm

7. Gingerbread squishy

8. Pen

9. Charger / charger case

10. Wallet

11. Primer water (life saver for long days)

12. A nail polish

13. Headphones (not pictured)

What’s in your bag?

Love,

Nat 💖

My final class

Today I started my final class of my final semester of college (university, for European people) and let me tell you PRAISE ALL THAT IS GOOD.

What’s good, I can’t wait to graduate.

I’m pumped.

But what really is on my mind is that this last semester I had a mental breakdown. A real one. Found myself nearly having a panic attack in the middle of a city I didn’t know because I my bumper just hit another cars bumper. Barely even a scratch, yet things just flipped way way upside down.

I’ve made mistakes, but this by far was my biggest one.

However, some might call it a mistake, I call it something that was meant to happen. It really pulled my family together too, they didn’t realize (well, my sister did the most) just how stressful things were getting to me.

And that’s when I realizded I was hiding it.

Fake “yeah I’m fine’s” in a high pitched tone to sound upbeat, smiling when inside I was screaming “don’t go” when they would leave to make the journey home.

I love my family, missed my family, and now more than ever I know how much they love me just as much as I love them.

Well, rah rah I could go on and on, but I need to touch on this whole bundle of feelings I experienced.

There was definite confusion, anger, hurt, sadness, and even some happiness… but what stood out to me was my anxiety.

It became a problem I couldn’t run away from anymore, and with this I finally found a solution to these nerves that I couldn’t control.

I urge anyone who feels anxious to simply talk to friends, or if like me, talk to a counselor if there are few close friends. It helps SO MUCH. You can event talk to me if you want, I’m all ears.

Love,

Nat 💖

Everyday makeup

I’m unsure if people are still into watching everyday makeup tutorials or seeing what someone likes a lot that they wear on their face everyday, but I still do, so, thought maybe someone would be curious to see what I might wear when I do an entire face of makeup.

1. Clinique dramatically different lotion

2. Fenty beauty primer

3. Panda brightening under eye base

4. Maybelline fit me dewy foundation

5. Too faced multiuse sculpting concealer

6. Supercat liquid liner

7. Great lashes lots of love mascara

7. Mini benefit hoola bronzer

8. Tarte blush in natural beauty

9. Wander Catch the light highlighter in ivory

10. Burt’s bees cucumber mint lip balm

11. L’Oréal lipstick in 985

12. Smashbox primer water

what

What about the coca-cola and sprite?

what about the weird messages on the tv?

what about “the queen”podcast thing?

what about the dog with your name?

what about all the songs i played only so he could hear them?

what about the book I picked up on my 22nd birthday on accident?

what about the Romeo to my Juliet?

what about the person to my person?

 

 

 

What about everything happening for a reason?

Caught Up

Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives we forget to take time for ourselves. This could mean having a pamper night, movie night, or even both in order to clear your head and function at your best.

Me?

I enjoy painting my nails, listening to Taylor Swift, reading a book and pampering myself with face masks and lotions and such.

Everyone had their own way to recharge, this just happens to me mine. What’s yours?

💖 Nat

Just A Thought

**I want to be clear this is just random things I noticed, nothing against Taylor Swift or Jersey Green especially, and definitely not meant to be taken seriously**

 

Okay, so I have a theory.

It’s little, it’s mini, it’s the inner  T-Swift fan coming out of me maybe but it’s something I just want to mention.

The only song Lacey Green has on Genius is “I’m Alright” which surfaced as a possible unreleased song from Taylor Swift in 2013.

Originally there was talk of the person singing it being named Anna, then all of a sudden in the comments people mention Jersey Green.

People say it’s just a fan of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles’ relationship making a song about it, which is an adorable song.

But what if maybe it’s just another cover name for a song Taylor Swift actually wrote?

This is pointless since they aren’t even dating anymore… I know. But I’m mentioning it, deal with it.

Jersey Green has a channel named Jersey Green, one that was made before the video of her singing “I’m Alright” was posted on a new one called Stark. Why wasn’t it just posted on Jersey Green with her actual name? Something people tend to do when they want to start a career in music.

The first channel called Alyy  is where the song is posted in 2013, matching the 2016 version which would come out later. Does not match the video in the middle where Jersey Green is actually seen.

Now, maybe it’s because it’s a sort of fan-made song, so putting it onto the channel isn’t something Jersey Green would want to do – okay fine. I’ve been there myself with writing, so I get why she’d want to hide it.

Well then why would the songs sound different when playing the one sung by Jersey Green herself versus the one that’s just a lyric video. Certain notes are held longer, shorter… it sounds like the same voice, but there are a few differences. There’s also a text message heard at 2:04 in Jersey Green’s compared to nothing at 2:11 in what could be an unreleased song of Taylor Swift’s.

Maybe it was a studio version Jersey Green made that came out in 2016, but it’s just a little funny.

Maybe someone reached out and said “hey, we love this song you made since a lot of people love it, we want you to record it” to Jersey Green.

Or maybe it’s a song Taylor gave to Jersey Green, since that’s also a common thing in the music industry and she writes non-stop…

It’s just some little things.

Not to mention, the comments only date back to a year and there used to be way more than 35.

I think it’s just the inner Swiftie in me coming out.

And I love the song, it’s really great whether or not it’s written by Taylor Swift. ❤