Would you like the truth?

Would you like the truth?

I like Superman because of Superman ice cream.

I like Audrey Hepburn because my dad said I reminded him of her when I was 15, and little did he know I had already loved her.

I like Pac-Man because when I was little I would play it in Buddy’s Pizza and got a mini joystick one for my Birthday one year to play after school. I spent hours on that thing.

I like Jeeps because my moms best friend would drive me in a bright yellow one to school when I was seven where at one point she backed into a tree and I said “be careful of the fucking tree” and that became some joke years later.

I like panic! at the disco because of Brendan Urie and Dan Howell re-introducing me to them.

I like the Beatles because I grew up with the Beatles music and made a point to mention something Beatles whenever I saw it anywhere partially because my dad likes them too.

I like to write because it clears my head, it’s fun, and I’ve also been doing it since I was seven.

I liked the newspaper for the comics, mainly the comics. That is also one of me and my dads things I guess. I also liked the paper because of Gilmore Girls, not solely because I liked being in the paper for eating a donut when I was little at my favorite cider mill (I was like 4, me recollecting this memory is nbd and never has been).

I like to read because I love books, always have, and would even get dropped off at the library after school before my mom went to her second job, partially because I had to, but definitely because I loved it since I can remember. Moving on from Nancy drew in the kids section to the teen books was big for me. 😂

I like having a YouTube channel because I get to post mini videos about my life, disinteresting to a lot of people but great for me since I’ll want to watch them back when I’m 80 years old.

I have never once liked any of my favorite things for anyone else.

Those, if any, corresponded with my favorite person at any point in time – those were a coincidence.

And I’ve never lied about “movie moments,” not a single damn time.

I’m sorry if I’ve caused you trouble, I’ve never meant to be a problem.

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Whisk Me Away – What Could’ve Been

Grab my hand and whisk me away under water.

Where no one can see us.

Where waves crash and the orange melts with the pink and the yellow in the sky… signaling its time to swim to shore.

We both stay afloat on our own.

I see his eyes lock with mine as I come up for air, almost sinking moments before.

He watches me.

I paddle around, make faces, splash water, and he just watches me.

Then BOOM.

He spreads his arms out, pulling me down to the bottom of the water; where the sand meets feet, where I meet my match.

Others find our little hideout in the middle of the sea, and he still notices me.

What am I to him?

A question I don’t bother to ask.

Screw the sea, this is our floor.

This is where it begins.

We dance our way to who is best when it comes to maneuvering around the waves.

Encouraging each other, behave.

This is the way it should be.

Drowned in each other rather than drowned in worries and fables.

He’s reached for the best of me, for so long, waited for the best of me, and I didn’t pull back this time. I’ve finally accepted that he’s all mine.

Random thought

For some reason taking pictures of other people makes me more nervous than if I’m getting my picture taken. Maybe it has to do with the need of not wanting to let people down, and when it’s me in front of the camera, it’s just me… I don’t know. Random thoughts, carry on.

My favorite makeup

Lets talk about my favorite makeup. First, concealer. Now, I LOVE shape tape by tarte, but recently the born this way sculpting concealer has stolen my heart. I have two shades, I’m not the best at color matching but I try, what can I say.My all time favorite blush is coralista by Benefit cosmetics, it’s the most gorgeous coral that also has a highlighting effect. Rockateur is pretty cool too. Coffee and cream highlighter by Elf cosmetics (Heart Defensor) is BEAUTIFUL. I’m in love with the cream side, but will be getting a lot more use of the coffee side as I get tanner during the summer. Can’t beat it for $8. My all time favorite foundation is the Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra wear foundation. It’s SO GOOD. Honestly, anything by Lancôme is great I find.Tarte blushes I’ve grown a mini collection of and I just love them.I hope you’ve enjoyed this mini look into my makeup bag! Let me know what you keep and love down in the comments. 💖 I’m such a makeup junkie, I’d love to meet others!

i was not

I was not put on this earth for choosing

I did not read until the break of day for nothing

I have not lied under pressure

I did not go through what I went through for nothing

I was not, ever, trying to steal you, with bad intentions

My everyday makeup

This is my current everyday makeup 🙂

1. It cosmetics confidence in a cream

2. Benefit porefessioanl primer

3. Too faves born this way foundation – snow

4. Maybelline age rewind concealer – ivory

5. L’Oréal true match powder

6. L’Oréal lash paradise mascara

7. The balm scwing liquid liner

8. Physicians formula butter bronzer

9. Milani blush – coral cove

10. Cover girl vitalist healthy glow highlighter

11. Dior lip glow – rose gold

I should tell you

I could tell you I thought of you when asked who stood out to me.

I could tell you, you were the first name that came to mind.

I could tell you that I wish I took the ride you offered me back to my dorm.

I could tell you I wish I joined the debate team like you had suggested.

I could tell you, the little time we spent together means more to me now, maybe even just as it did then.

I could tell you that your arrogance annoyed me to my core, even if you have a right to air it.

I could tell you that I found it un-shocking, you staring at my chest after I told you I had no bra on. Pervert.

I could tell you every time I saw your name pop up it made my smile do the same.

I could tell you I always wished to see you around, never dreaming I actually would, only to find those dreams come to life.

I could tell you that for the little time I’ve known you, I’ve felt like I’ve known you forever.

I could tell you that it scares me, liking someone so much when they barely know I exist.

I could tell you it’s just another day, and you don’t cross my mind as often as I bet you’d like.

Make it count

I could sit and be a downer, but who does that help? Definitely not me, and definitely not anyone else.

Sometimes it takes a series of downs to get yourself back on track. Once you feel you’ve hit down after down, there’s all the reason to try something new and fail at it because what do you have to lose?

Right?

Make it count. Make all the bad days count towards your greatest day and know that there’s no where your life can go besides up.

Disheartening

I thought you were the one that was going to love me when no one else could.

I thought you were the spark in my step that lit up my old 16 year old thoughts.

You were the guy that was supposed to always be there, because you genuinely wanted to be.

But maybe that doesn’t turn out to be you after all.

Maybe there’s someone better out there, that’s the only thing I can think of now that you’ve disappeared.

I wish you left differently, but you decided I wasn’t even worth respecting.

How disheartening.

Sometimes

Love is complicated.

Sometimes it’s exactly what you think it is, until it’s not, and then you’re left wondering what went wrong.

Sometimes you meet the perfect person and then they get lost in someone else.

Sometimes you meet the perfect person and they turn out to not be as perfect as you hoped.

But isn’t that the point of love?

To stick around when things are tough, to be there when your person wants to just be listened to, to care, even when you feel like you could care less?

Love is complicated, and love is perfect.

I’ve come to know both of those in the midst of loosing myself among wanting to know them.

Groceries and Working Out

I’m trying to eat healthier. Last year around march I started working out and eating better and it made a world of a difference for me. Not only did it feel good because my body felt good, but it lowered my anxiety and just made everything else seem easier.

I’m not saying drop everything and eat fruit instead, but incorporating more fruits, veggies, and even yogurt can help your body feel and be it’s best.

I recently gained a lot of weight and was thinking about how last year I felt so powerful so I decided I was going to start eating better again at least, and slowly building up my workout again.

This is what I got from the grocery store today, for anyone that’s curious. Healthier is a better word than healthy I guess. 😉

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Here you’ll find:

eggs

potatoes

asparagus

silk yogurt; blueberry and strawberry

blueberries

raspberries

pineapple

goldfish

silk almond milk

shrimp

pork chops

cherry tomatoes

strawberry kiwi snapple X2

life cereal