Category Archives: Thoughts

Conquering Chloe: Chapter 8

Madelyn greets us with a smirk, a backhanded compliment about my outfit, and surprisingly a nice one about my mom.

“Your mom’s really sweet, too bad you didn’t take on that characteristic,” she says.

I sit in silence, I was always told it’s better to ignore the bullies. And while Madelyn didn’t scare me, I still wanted to remain quiet so she wouldn’t get the worst of me.

As I contemplate responding back with a clever remark I see Hayden across the cafeteria in the lunch line holding chips, he raises his hand asking if I want some. I shake my head. Madelyn catches glimpse of this and says “I thought you were anorexic, anorexic people don’t eat chips.” I thought to myself “this girl really is a piece of work.”

Kelsey slaps her hand on the table and says “get up now” to Madelyn, who trots away with that same smirk she showed with.

Kelsey says “That bit**–” before Hayden sits at the table to the left of ours, tossing a bag of Cheeto puffs my way. I nod my head to say thank you, despite wanting to take the bag and throw it’s contents at Madelyn.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s just angry Max is into you.”

“I think you’re delerious” I say to Kelsey with a giggle.

************

“Hey” comes from behind me on the bus, it’s Max.

I just stare.

“So I saw you talking to Madelyn today, could it have involved someone like me?”

“Why would we be talking about you?” I question quickly.

“I don’t know, isn’t that what you girls do? Gossip and talk about guys?”

“Unlike your pre-conceived notions, I beg to differ. We weren’t talking about you, don’t stay up too late figuring out the details” I respond back.

Getting off the bus at my stop I don’t even turn around to look at him, I walk straight off, and as fast as I can past my friendly neighbors house.

Surprisingly, he’s not home. Sometimes his mom picks him up. Halfway down the street I notice a green jeep headed my way, I thought nothing of it until the passenger stopped near me. Tilting his sunglasses and squinting his eyes, Hayden says “haven’t seen you in a while” while I’m stood in disbelief he’s driving this car.

I continue walking.

He puts it in reverse.

“Hey, I can give you a ride you know…”

“What the seven houses I have left to walk by? I think I can manage.”

“Suit yourself.”

Hayden rolls up his window and drives away. What does he think? That I’m going to just get in his car? For all I know he’s driving it illegally.

An hour after I get home I hear a knock on the door, I open it to find a note on the steps. “Come here” it reads.

“Come where?” I question out loud with a dazed look on my face. And then I see it, parked near my driveway is Hayden’s new ride. Although, this time it has no doors on it.

“Just what are you doing here?” I ask the empty car.

AHHHHHHHH. He jumps out of the bush to the right of me, scaring me half to death.

I nearly punch him in the arm and gesture with my hands “ah, you idiot!”

“I want to take you somewhere,” he says.

I pause, then shrug my shoulders, I’ll take a chance.

The seatbelts don’t work. “What is this? How am I going to be safe,” I ask.

“You won’t, that’s the catch” he says as he begins to drive off while I scream, holding onto the dashboard for dear life.

 

 

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My favorite makeup

Lets talk about my favorite makeup. First, concealer. Now, I LOVE shape tape by tarte, but recently the born this way sculpting concealer has stolen my heart. I have two shades, I’m not the best at color matching but I try, what can I say.My all time favorite blush is coralista by Benefit cosmetics, it’s the most gorgeous coral that also has a highlighting effect. Rockateur is pretty cool too. Coffee and cream highlighter by Elf cosmetics (Heart Defensor) is BEAUTIFUL. I’m in love with the cream side, but will be getting a lot more use of the coffee side as I get tanner during the summer. Can’t beat it for $8. My all time favorite foundation is the Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra wear foundation. It’s SO GOOD. Honestly, anything by Lancôme is great I find.Tarte blushes I’ve grown a mini collection of and I just love them.I hope you’ve enjoyed this mini look into my makeup bag! Let me know what you keep and love down in the comments. 💖 I’m such a makeup junkie, I’d love to meet others!

Groceries and Working Out

I’m trying to eat healthier. Last year around march I started working out and eating better and it made a world of a difference for me. Not only did it feel good because my body felt good, but it lowered my anxiety and just made everything else seem easier.

I’m not saying drop everything and eat fruit instead, but incorporating more fruits, veggies, and even yogurt can help your body feel and be it’s best.

I recently gained a lot of weight and was thinking about how last year I felt so powerful so I decided I was going to start eating better again at least, and slowly building up my workout again.

This is what I got from the grocery store today, for anyone that’s curious. Healthier is a better word than healthy I guess. 😉

IMG_3418.JPG

Here you’ll find:

eggs

potatoes

asparagus

silk yogurt; blueberry and strawberry

blueberries

raspberries

pineapple

goldfish

silk almond milk

shrimp

pork chops

cherry tomatoes

strawberry kiwi snapple X2

life cereal

My final class

Today I started my final class of my final semester of college (university, for European people) and let me tell you PRAISE ALL THAT IS GOOD.

What’s good, I can’t wait to graduate.

I’m pumped.

But what really is on my mind is that this last semester I had a mental breakdown. A real one. Found myself nearly having a panic attack in the middle of a city I didn’t know because I my bumper just hit another cars bumper. Barely even a scratch, yet things just flipped way way upside down.

I’ve made mistakes, but this by far was my biggest one.

However, some might call it a mistake, I call it something that was meant to happen. It really pulled my family together too, they didn’t realize (well, my sister did the most) just how stressful things were getting to me.

And that’s when I realizded I was hiding it.

Fake “yeah I’m fine’s” in a high pitched tone to sound upbeat, smiling when inside I was screaming “don’t go” when they would leave to make the journey home.

I love my family, missed my family, and now more than ever I know how much they love me just as much as I love them.

Well, rah rah I could go on and on, but I need to touch on this whole bundle of feelings I experienced.

There was definite confusion, anger, hurt, sadness, and even some happiness… but what stood out to me was my anxiety.

It became a problem I couldn’t run away from anymore, and with this I finally found a solution to these nerves that I couldn’t control.

I urge anyone who feels anxious to simply talk to friends, or if like me, talk to a counselor if there are few close friends. It helps SO MUCH. You can event talk to me if you want, I’m all ears.

Love,

Nat 💖

Caught Up

Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives we forget to take time for ourselves. This could mean having a pamper night, movie night, or even both in order to clear your head and function at your best.

Me?

I enjoy painting my nails, listening to Taylor Swift, reading a book and pampering myself with face masks and lotions and such.

Everyone had their own way to recharge, this just happens to me mine. What’s yours?

💖 Nat

Just A Thought

**I want to be clear this is just random things I noticed, nothing against Taylor Swift or Jersey Green especially, and definitely not meant to be taken seriously**

 

Okay, so I have a theory.

It’s little, it’s mini, it’s the inner  T-Swift fan coming out of me maybe but it’s something I just want to mention.

The only song Lacey Green has on Genius is “I’m Alright” which surfaced as a possible unreleased song from Taylor Swift in 2013.

Originally there was talk of the person singing it being named Anna, then all of a sudden in the comments people mention Jersey Green.

People say it’s just a fan of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles’ relationship making a song about it, which is an adorable song.

But what if maybe it’s just another cover name for a song Taylor Swift actually wrote?

This is pointless since they aren’t even dating anymore… I know. But I’m mentioning it, deal with it.

Jersey Green has a channel named Jersey Green, one that was made before the video of her singing “I’m Alright” was posted on a new one called Stark. Why wasn’t it just posted on Jersey Green with her actual name? Something people tend to do when they want to start a career in music.

The first channel called Alyy  is where the song is posted in 2013, matching the 2016 version which would come out later. Does not match the video in the middle where Jersey Green is actually seen.

Now, maybe it’s because it’s a sort of fan-made song, so putting it onto the channel isn’t something Jersey Green would want to do – okay fine. I’ve been there myself with writing, so I get why she’d want to hide it.

Well then why would the songs sound different when playing the one sung by Jersey Green herself versus the one that’s just a lyric video. Certain notes are held longer, shorter… it sounds like the same voice, but there are a few differences. There’s also a text message heard at 2:04 in Jersey Green’s compared to nothing at 2:11 in what could be an unreleased song of Taylor Swift’s.

Maybe it was a studio version Jersey Green made that came out in 2016, but it’s just a little funny.

Maybe someone reached out and said “hey, we love this song you made since a lot of people love it, we want you to record it” to Jersey Green.

Or maybe it’s a song Taylor gave to Jersey Green, since that’s also a common thing in the music industry and she writes non-stop…

It’s just some little things.

Not to mention, the comments only date back to a year and there used to be way more than 35.

I think it’s just the inner Swiftie in me coming out.

And I love the song, it’s really great whether or not it’s written by Taylor Swift. ❤

Conquering Chloe: Chapter 7

“Let’s be friends”  Hayden says blunt as I’m halfway to my house.

“Friends?” I question, adding “we’re just neighbors aren’t we?”

“Exactly, which is why we need to be friends.”

“We don’t need to be anything,” sure of what I’m saying next, “you can be the guy who came to my house and brought over a cake once and just happened to stay for a movie, while I can go on being the girl who walks by your house from the bus stop. Unless I decide to go the other way.”

“No need for that” he say’s walking backwards from the place he made himself comfortable lately, at my side. I turn around, not really sure what I’m doing, and as I open my mouth to say something he’s turned around completely waving slightly as he walks off.

*********

“Is there any way I could fit a dozen donuts in my mouth because I’d like to be the first person to do that” I say sitting next to Kelsey in the usual spot at the Cider Mill.

Kelsey’s quiet.

“What’s up Kels?”

“It’s just—you know Cassie that sat next to us at lunch a few weeks ago?”

“Yes…” I said trying to remember if it was the blonde or the redhead friend of hers, then remember the green-eyed friend that was the same night of the party she went to, while I stayed in and watched a movie with a neighbor.

“This guy I was talking to—she totally just took him from me!” she shouted with her hands stretched out like she was about to catch a pumpkin.

“What?” I say kicking myself back into our conversation.

“I mean, I had been talking to him, I liked him a lot you know… we even like the same bands and things and she just took him away, I don’t even know where they went and like—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I know you don’t like talking about this stuff but you are, so I’m here.”

“No, you don’t like talking about this stuff! God, I can’t even remember the last time you talked about anyone you liked!”

Well, this was shocking.

“Kelsey, there’s nothing to tell” genuinely said as I watched a leaf float to the ground.

“Kelsey, bleh bleh yes there is, I’ve seen you with that guy from school—it’s like a secret I can’t know about, that no one can know about” she says mimickingly.

“Okay, no, we barely know each other. He’s been to my house like twice in my life, both times super far in between each other, so trust me when I say there’s nothing to tell.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“For now.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means what it means” she says sure of herself, nodding over to the line 10 yards away from us.

I see Max, look at Kelsey questioningly and turn around so my back faces him and I can drown in the cider I just bought.

“Maybe it can be his time now” she say’s leaning back, trying to make eye-contact I so clearly don’t want.

“He think’s I’m a freak, what does it matter?”

“Has he ever said that?”

“No.”

“Then why do you say it?”

“Because I walked into his locker and nearly threw up after he wrote back on the note.”

“Oh, that’s nothing. Try being Cassie, known for being a guy-stealer” she says annoyed.

“There it is! That’s the topic we’re on!” I say excitedly as I feel an unwanted presence sit across from us.

Don’t Wait

The longer you wait, the longer the weight.

Silly cheesy saying? Check. Has been said before? Probably.

The REASON for it is, as long as your working towards whatever you want to do, whatever you need to do, whatever you have to do, you’ll figure it all out. If you sit and wait around for something to change, it won’t. It never does– it doesn’t work that way.

Putting pressure on yourself whether it’s a homework assignment, finding a job, calling someone back, the longer you wait the bigger the negative.

I mean how many times has your life felt like it was one bad thing after another after another? And when did it change? When you put in some effort to make one.

Most situations have a solution, and some situations take longer to figure out, to understand… but they CAN be solved. Sometimes it takes days, other times it could take years.

And yes, I’ve known the “Well, if I wait just a little longer it’ll be fine” and the “the more pressure I have before this is due, the better it will be” and while that may have felt true sometimes, it’s not! Don’t wait, start something now. You will feel enormously better, less of a hassle, and an easier time than if you wait last minute for EVERYTHING.

So, my advice to you is don’t wait for whatever it is your procrastinating now. Don’t, just don’t. Keep trying to solve that problem, that assignment, that little to-do you’ve kept forgetting for the past few weeks… just do it NOW.

I mean, at least start it now.

You can do it, whatever it is, you can do it and you will do it and it’ll be great and you’ll never have to visit a post like this ever again to find the motivation to do it in the first place. ❤

 

 

This is what I like

Hi, my name is Natalie and I like:

 

Early mornings

Fairy lights

Paris

Jane Austen

Musicals

Taylor Swift

Pandas

Writing

Alone time

Time with friends

Styling my hair

Making lists

Discovering new places

Chocolate twinkies

Cute mugs

Puns

My red suitcase

Walks

Picking out a Christmas tree

Snow

Leaves crunching on the ground

Movies (Especially ones with Audrey Hepburn or Julia Roberts)

Late night drives

Stars

The color orange

When everything goes right

When things go wrong but there is a right

Castles

My dog Riley

Deer

Studs

Surprising people

Cute stories

Writing notes in my phone at 3 AM

Waking up before the sun

Trivia games

Sudokus

Pac-man

Donkey Kong

The feeling you get when you do something right

Peticoats

Plaid scarfs

People that make me laugh

The ukulele, even though I’ve only played it a handful of times

Piano, even though I only played that when I was 10

Clean clothes

Pajamas

Bed

Sleep

I should be doing that right now…

 

Thanks for reading!