Category Archives: Thoughts

Holding Onto Hope

Reading Grapes of Wrath is numerously different than watching the movie released a year later, that is something many can vouch on that have seen both the film and read the book.

There are a lot of opinions on why the movie decided to go with the Hollywood Ending it did, and I want to mention a reason I feel it was.

Hope.

The very last speech Ma gave after Tom had left and they were on the road again was a speech about being strong without a doubt, and alluded to everything working out in the end as long as they stayed tough and stuck it out in a sense.

It was a “Hollywood ending” that many considered to be filmed and put in the finalization of the film because it was the most popular of endings at the time and everyone likes a happy ending.

Yes, thats true, who wouldn’t want a happy ending. However, I don’t feel that was their only motive to profit and make money. There also wasn’t the sole idea that people would watch and feel “okay everything is solved, time to go back to our happy lives” once the movie was over.

There was a mass love of the novel for the way it made people feel, for the truth in the words written, and seen through the eyes of the readers.

The fact that Steinbeck had the guts to write about such a time is amazing. The fact that he poured every ounce of sorrow and hope and sorrow and hope and sorrow, sorrow, sorrow sadly at the end is something that should be recognized. And it was recognized massively when it was published in 1939.

Movies were the place to be in the 30s and 40s, that was what to us now is social media or Netflix. And interested not only younger generations, but older ones too.

So once a book came out that everyone was talking about, of course the movie has to be seen whether reading the book or not… But for the people that didn’t read the book– seeing a version of the film with as depressing an ending as the novel would hurt.

Now, yes, maybe with the ending in the film being similar to the novel it could’ve had the effect of never forgetting such a horrible time and further resolving the situation of The Great Depression with a plan of action if it were to come again.

But if it were to be as depressing as the ending in the novel, it could’ve had the effect of depressing the viewers and making them lose hope in humanity, if you will.

Watching the film as it was made, with the Hollywood Ending everyone knows and loves opens the hearts of people that didn’t see the effects of The Great Depression firsthand. In a fictional novel, yes, but surrounding something everyone has in common which is family, and the different effects it has on different members, and the people we meet along the way.

The great depression neared the end after 10 years in 1939, for people that went through it; why would they want to revisit a horrible ending when they either knew people, or of people that had gone through scraping whatever food they could find together, not being paid decent money for their hard labor, not having a steady roof over their heads… the view into Toms family provided them with a happy ending rather than a terrible one they themselves might have known.

Hope is more powerful than fear, in other words (quoted from both Suzanne Collins and Robert Ludlum).

This is just my perception on why Hollywood went with the ending they did, besides making money and getting views. I can understand other viewpoints as to why it doesn’t work and why it was finished the way it was but I’d like to believe it wasn’t solely because Hollywood had an agenda.

I’d love to hear what you think.

Thanks for reading,

Nat

Advertisements

Eyebrow Trauma :Once Upon A Time

“Excuse me, this doesn’t seem right” or “You made me look like chewbacca” would have been great responses to a lady who “fixed” my eyebrows once upon a time.

Instead, I said “Oh wow,” gave a nice smile, paid for the monstrosity on my face, and walked away.

Granted, I was 17 at the time and pretty new to the whole waxing eyebrows properly thing, and not just going to the corner place where they always seemed to be done exactly the same for every single person.

This time I was in a professional place. I had been there once before; I loved them I didn’t get red afterwards looking like I had a really awkward sunburn, it just went great.

And then I went back for a second time. Went to someone new because, well why not and experienced the worst eyebrow waxing of all time.

The thing is, there wasn’t even much waxing- it was more filling them in or drawing them in should I say.

My original thought after leaving was “wow this is different, maybe she was super new and I was practice” which I wish I had a warning with at least. So I kind of just went with it and didn’t go back to that specific place ever again.

When I say filled in, I mean seriously messed me up, I walked out of there and her coworkers literally had their mouths open it was so horrible.

The most cringe-worthy part of it is the whole time I was walking to where the group of gaspers were to pay for it I held my head high as if I wanted it to happen because I just KNEW she had to have been new or done it on purpose and I wasn’t going to become a laughing stock.

The worst part is, she was so nice so I was nice back, when I really should’ve been like:

giphy.gif

I Would Really Like To Know

Look, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I’ve been popping around even though it’s not even once a year. I come because I need things, not because I have to see you.

I never dated in high school because I was always afraid that whoever I did date would stalk me, or just never let this idea of being with me go. I know that sounds silly, but these are serious fears I had. Or should I say have.

The truth of the matter is that you were the only guy that ever really made me feel safe. You were the only one who made me laugh, the only one who made me smile, the only one who gave me this warm fuzzy feeling inside when I fell so unbelievably low as the leaves fell with me.

At 16, everything was still new to me, as it is for every 16 year old. But there’s something I always knew, that I may never find the feeling I felt when I was with you.

I’m not coming around to spark something that could’ve happened years ago.

No, I literally just need to buy things.

I am sat here overthinking because today I was faced with the feeling of being unsafe.

I thought I saw someone I used to know at my bus stop.

I told myself it wasn’t who I thought, that it wasn’t what I thought…

And then I saw him again later on in the night.

He was alone, still wearing the same clothes, the same sweater I had seen at the bus stop earlier in the day, the same sweater I had my face buried in over a year ago as he hugged me and dammit the tears forming in my eyes can’t put into words how it feels to feel unsafe.

And then I saw you last weekend.

You told me to come back and see you, you looked down with a flushed face as I tried to read the signs on if you really did want me to see you again or if it was pure sarcasm.

I thought that if you really wanted to see me, then you would. If you really wanted to speak to me, then you would. If you really wanted me to be yours, I would have been already.

I got the feeling in the pit of my stomach, the warm and fuzzy feeling I haven’t truly felt since I met your eyes across a room as 16 years old-you told your jokes-and I laughed at everything… even the really bad ones.

But tonight I’m sat feeling sort of lonely, yes. But, I’m also scared. I don’t want any ghosts from my past, I’ve NEVER been one to revisit those unless on my own.

I’m thinking about you now because you always made me feel safe.

It’s all very stupid I know, and you may think I’m crazy, I know, and hell you even said “come back and see me” but is that out of love or is that out of pity.

I would really like to know.

Cake Is Not A Crime

Yes, I’m going to eat the cake even though I may regret it later.

Why you ask?

Oh, just because today I asked myself why I should deprive myself of sweets and I couldn’t come up with much of an answer besides not wanting to make snacking a massive habit.

When did it all become about numbers; how many pieces of cake, how many slices of pizza, how pieces out of the massive box of goldfish I bought at Target…

As long as I know what I’m doing, I don’t hold myself to absurd standards like exercising every single day for two hours (not that I’m the person to ask about working out) or eating ONLY organic food and little sugar or calories-what have you- I’ll be alright.

I eat for myself.

I eat for the pure happiness of it, and I eat when I’m hungry, not when I’m bored.

Okay, that’s a bold lie, sometimes when I’m bored and its just been one of those days with endless movies, then yes I will without a doubt.

But other than that I try to balance the healthy foods with the not so healthy foods… it’s really all anyone can do.

So I say, eat the cake. Life’s too short. Worry about the silly things later.

Love,

Nat ❤

 

 

Period Pain Plan 

Bet you can’t say the title ten times fast… 🙂

Period plan:
1. Wake up whenever you want (unless you’re working, then get yourself some Advil asap)

2. Get to the couch stat

3. Shout for your sister to grab you the clicker, then proceed to ask for water

4. Avoid all cute things, unless you’re completely alone and in the mood to cry happy / lonely / funny tears

5. Listen to some music, whatever your favorite is to boost your mood.

6. Watch a funny movie instead of a rom com, and especially don’t watch a horror movie, why would you do that to yourself

7. Once you have any energy at all take a nap, then after you’ve regained consciousness go for a little walk.

*As odd as the walk sounds, it will help with cramps believe it or not*

8. Make some kind of list whether it’s for groceries or to buy yourself something after surviving the first day of period so far– you freaking deserve it.

9. Read a book if TV, your phone, and social media are just too much for you right now.

10. Put your hand on your stomach to calm it down. Don’t know why this works, but it does; don’t question the magic.

Love,
Nat 💖

Dear October: Good Paths That Never Stop

I wish there was some kind of book or guide on being 21… but there isn’t.

That’s a GOOD thing.

Living up to normal standards all the time is exactly how new ones are never made.

Why should you do what everyone else is doing and not what you want to do?

Why should you worry your life away about not having money when there are a million ways to live happily without it?

I’m not going to say the regular, “compare your life to someone beneath you and you’ll find they are much happier” thing or the “rich people may seem like they have everything, but they don’t really because where’s the real love” that has probably been said 50 times.

But, what I will say is that there is NO rule book to being 21. There is NO rule book on LIFE, for that matter.

Everyone makes decisions which lead them on and on and on into the future…. there are people before you, and people after you.

The world doesn’t stop.

It never stops.

It turns, and turns, and turns, creating the happiest and most devastating moments in every single persons every day lives.

As dreadful of a day you’re having, it could be someones best.

As amazing as the day is, there will be some point where it will take a tubmle…

But does that mean you should dread the happiness you’re experiencing now, only to realize you’ll be hurt later?

NO.

Create the life you want, live the life you want, do what YOU want.

Do not sweat the small stuff, the past, the future, the side-eyes or back-talk.

Do what YOU want, what YOU love, what YOU know you are here for a reason to do.

You’re young, you’re 21, you have a whole blank canvas in front of you that you have the ability of morphing into whatever way you please.

You are meant to live one life, that is you’re own and no one else’s as much as you may wish you were living someone else’s or someone else wishes you were living theirs…

Every path you’ve ever been on has been a good path whether or not you’re still at the top of them.

There is no right way, there is no rule book, there are no guarantees in life, but there damn well is the decision to follow who YOU want to be and BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU WANT TO DO with your life.

You’re 21, you practically just started living.

Love,

Nat

Little Witch Academia on Netflix

 

83934

Netflix, please get this Anime together.

The official season has 25 episodes, where on Netflix only 13 are available.

While 13 is one of my favorite numbers, and even being able to watch some of the season (after initially thinking I’d have to wait a year or so) is amazing, I have to ask… why is the entire season not available?

The two short movies are amazing.

The series (at the moment about half of season 1) is amazing.

It IS a NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES.

So, I just feel the need to ask why and how long Netflix watchers will have to wait until we can see the rest of season one.

Thanks!!

Nat

P.S. IT’S BRILLIANT AND I CAN’T PUT INTO WORDS JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE IT, YET.

 

*Note: Some Facts On The Anime:

The series began airing in January 2017.

The first ever mini movie came out in March 2013.

It currently has an 8/10 on myanimelist.net

I found it completely random back in November / December out of pure curiosity and have NOT been disappointed at all with any of it.

If your wondering about it, if you’ve never really watched an anime before, or if you want to be reminded of high school (except with fantasy and magic thrown in there), go flipping watch it, you won’t be disappointed. ❤

 

Picture Travel

I want to travel. If you know me, you know this is something I’ve dreamt about since I was 12.

The reason I read so much as a kid was due to the fact of me being so immersed in another world, whether it was Paris, another state, or some fantasy land (like in The Hobbit).

Now that I’m 20, I’m trying my best to be able to do that soon.

But its hard, Living Is Expensive.

While its easy to think you understand at 15, once 20 hits, reality does too.

But, I think I’ve come up with a solution for me to be able to experience other worlds and not have to wait until I’m 30, or 60 to do so.

I’ve heard about travel points over the last couple of summers… I’ve heard that by opening some type of travel credit card and earning points, that its possible to save money on flights, food etc. simply by using it on the ground.

Now, I don’t know too much about these, and anything with the word “credit” makes me second-eye it… but from anyone who has actually traveled or used travel points and travel cards, please let me know how it started and what you’ve been able to do since opening the account.

The first place I want to go is somewhere not far from home, yet in another country about a day’s drive away.

This isn’t some kind of puzzling question, this is me trying to avoid telling you where I actually live. 🙂

Not sure if I’ll be driving, flying, what have you, but just in case I want to try and prepare for it.

With these travel points, people are able to build them up in a year and fly off to London for instance…

I can’t express to you how badly I want to be that person.

So, with that said, please let me know you’re experiences / favorite places to open one with.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

Love,

Nat

 Sparks A Piece Of History

I’m always making notes. Ever since I was able to hold a pen, I’ve been making notes, songs, writing down ideas. 
I can’t tell you how much data I’ve used up by writing notes on my phone ( and two others from before) along with my iPad (rip) and computer.
I wish there was a way for me to find all of them. Although there isn’t, there’s at least my old e-mail which hold quite a few. 
One day I’ll go through them, maybe share a few… but for now I just want to talk about how much I love writing. 
Not only do I focus better, remember tasks I’d otherwise forget, and come up with creative ideas that I put few to use, but it helps me feel like I’ve accomplished something. 
I started out with a pen and paper, even now I do still prefer a pen and paper… but, those ideas that come on around 2 am or so (the most creative I think), or the ideas that come to thought in a dream, are written in my phone. 
No matter how you look at it, you’ll see I always write and I most likely date the paper too. 
There’s something I find really cool about going to back to things I wrote or drew back in 2013, for instance, because it sparks memory and it sparks a piece of history from my life. 
It does for everyone when they discover something they thought they lost. 
The way we write tells a story too; why do we curve the g’s and y’s? 
Why do we write in cursive or print?
Why do we have sloppy handwriting sometimes and clean as pledge the next? 
There are more unique things about ourselves than what we thought…
Even when it comes to something as “simple” as writing. 
Thanks for reading. 🔥
Love, 

          Nat 💖