A New Addition To My Addiction

I finally added another lip to my collection of makeup that is forever a favorite– the Dior lipglows.

I am a BIG fan of these.

The new edition is the shade Berry, and I’m into it.

The first one I tried and reviewed was the pink one which you can find here.

I now have two of them and I love them a lot. This might be the first lipstick anything (besides the Lancôme lip lover gloss – RIP) that I actually want to buy every shade of.

The quick sum up of these are that they give your lips a lit from within glow, they are sheer, yet buildable, and they morph into your own perfect shade in whatever color you choose. Don’t believe me? Here is the before and after:


I say give at least one a try – I get the hesitation due to the price tag ($34), thus why I waited nearly a year later to buy another one, but, if you are into having a little “glow” whether it’s foundation, eyeshadow, what have you… why not try it on your lips?

As cheesy and odd as this may sound these have been a life-changer for me and I’d hope maybe they would be for other people too.

And yes, yes I am saying that about a damn lip balm.


Nat 💖


Conquering Chloe: Chapter 5

All of a sudden the light beamed in from sunrise.

Waking up, 7 AM at your own will is not something that should happen on a Saturday.

But at least it’s a pretty sight.


Raising in her bed, using her thumb to peer through the blinds, a melt of orange and blue waved to her.

Chloe wanted so badly to sleep, but couldn’t find a way to get back to it. 2 AM wasn’t the time to be up and neither was this.

Nevertheless, mom’s going to walk in at some point once 9 AM or so hits… turning on the light… always mentioning how she doesn’t get to relax yet searching for any ounce of busy work on an off day.

I’m happy to spend it with her, even though every other teenager might wail about it.

We’re supposed to go to the market today, and by the time she tries to wake me up I’ll be downstairs eating waffles.

I look in the mirror facing my direction and raise my eyebrow.

“Are you sure you want to get up now?”

I throw on some clothes I randomly grab from my dresser, a pair of light wash jeans and a white t-shirt – green converse to go with it. As far as the hair, I’ll pull it up in a ponytail after I wash it… I don’t normally try so hard with my hair, but today I feel like doing something.

Sure enough, as I make my way down the stairs, no one is to be seen, except the remainder of the sunrise; greeting me and my microwaveable waffles I just pulled from the fridge.

Normally I’d sit in front of the tv, but instead I place myself at the island in the kitchen, scrolling through my phone.

There’s a bunch of pictures from 6 or so hours ago… random quotes the sleepless post, before and after party pics, an odd photo or two of a dog; that one I’m not complaining about.

Making my way back to the fridge, I open it to find the last piece of breakfast – orange juice. Closing it, I find my mom with a puzzled look on her face.

“You’re up?” She asks questioningly.

“Yes…?” I respond back, once again with a raised eyebrow.

“I couldn’t sleep” I add on after.

“But you were up until 3, I thought you would’ve been sleeping in till 11 today.”

“No, that’d be lucky but it wasn’t going to happen” I respond a little sad.

I don’t know where this came from, sleep deprivation, maybe?

“I was going to make pancakes” she says with the spatula in her hand, pointing to the clock and adding “it’s 8:00 AM. You actually got up at 8:00 AM on a Saturday. Are you sure your my child?”

“Yes mom I’m sure” I say with a smile.

“Maybe I’m just excited for today.”

“You should be, I have a lot planned

“ She says as she grabs the mix from a cupboard under the microwave.


Conquering Chloe: Chapter 4

So tonight Hayden will be here at 6, and mom doesn’t get home until 8 or so since she normally goes to my aunts for dinner.

I shut the door behind me.

Looking to my left in the freckled mirror, I brang my hands to the side of my face stretching it out.

Why did I agree to this?

I quickly turn back around and peer through the curtain hiding the front doors mini window.

Ah yes, he’s gone.

And he’s not looking back…

oh nope, he looked back.

I ducked down just enough to catch a mini smile as he turned his head away and I sank halfway to the floor finding myself with a slight grin.

Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing.


I push myself up from the couch. It’s 5:30, Hayden will be here soon and popcorn is calling to be made.

Snacks are calling to be eaten.

Warning signs already flashing at the thought of someone new coming over to my house.

Movie theater butter popcorn it is, always.

“Knock knock knock” I hear as I click the play button for the movie. Turning around, I give a wave through the massive living room window as I open the curtains.

“Soooo whatcha think?” I ask excitedly.

“Of not being let in” he questions with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

“No, of my skills” as I throw a piece of popcorn in the air to catch it.


I turn back around.

Knock knock knock.


“Why am I not being let in again?”

“I never said I was going to let you inside of my house…”

“Oh, you can’t be serious.”

“Ohhh, but I am.”

Just then I hear someone walk through the side door; my mom, as Hayden dives into the bushes guarding the window. Nice.

“Hi, how was your day?”

“Oh good, you know, how school is…?” I reply more awkward than normal knowing there’s an invisible neighbor behind me somewhere.

“Heard you ran into Mrs. Myrtle today…” she always knows something even when she “doesn’t.”

“Oh did you—“

“Yes, and she told me you were with a boy.”

“Oh that’s what you got from it?” I said with a hint of nervous in my voice afraid the rock incident would be brought up.

“Yes actually, why is there something else?” She asked.

“No, no…”

knock knock knock.

“Oh, Hi Hayden how are you? It’s been forever!”

“Good, I just came to drop off this cake my Dad made. He thought it’d be a good way to kick off the school year.”

She looked at me with her mom vision.

Oh she knew about the rock thing, the totally accidental rock thing.

“Hey, actually it’s not late stay for a bit it looks like Chloe’s going to put on a movie anyways. You remember her right?”

“Wow mom, thanks.” I think I’m my head as I drown in all the endless possible nightmares that could occur from this one night alone.

“I think I can stay for a little bit, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

He sits right next to me, on the other end of the couch.

Oh I’m so sure.

As my mom disappears to do some returns at the mall, I gravitate to the floor where I feel more comfortable watching the movie on my stomach and elbows.

“You okay” I hear a deep voice ask from across the room.



“At least she didn’t walk in on you locking me out” he went on,


“For all we know.”

“You just had to add that at the end didn’t you?” I say as I finally turn to look at him in the eyes.

I’ll Never

I’ll never amount to her level of perfect, I know.

I’ll never have her boobs, I know.

I’ll never have her blue eyes or sun-kissed hair.

I’ll never have her perfect teeth.

I’ll never have her care-free laugh.

I’ll never have her..


I’ll never have her memories of you.

I’ll never have her dozen or so pictures with you.

I’ll never have the spontaneous trips with you.

I’ll only ever have the “what if,” whether or not she always has you.

Because I was too afraid of being in the way.

And maybe we weren’t meant to meet anyways.

Police and People

I need to get something off my chest.

I want all cops to be background checked and even re-initiated into being a police officer.

I’m only 21 years old.

I don’t believe all cops are bad, but I also don’t believe all cops are as properly trained as an average every day citizen would hope.

The amount of times I’ve felt uncomfortable around them, heard stories from friends and their experiences, and seen videos where its apparent power is being abused is sickening.

What I’m asking for is steps to be taken to make the world safer, starting with the people that’s profession is to keep people safe.

Bumbling Blobs

I have to stop dreaming of a story that isn’t mine.

I need to face the facts.

He chose her.

He wanted her.

He loves her.

I didn’t want him.

I didn’t like him.

I didn’t think I’d love him.

And I’m now scrolling through pictures, a facade painted on my face as I see one of them.

How nice that must be.

To be in his arms.

The place I didn’t want.

Bad timing is a devil.

I don’t know what’s worse, the daydreaming of him…

or the knowing of him.

It’s been months since our last serendipitous moment.

A moment I choose to believe was just that, a moment.

Just a fraction of time taken from our live’s, just a brief meeting that meant nothing.

But I know it’s more than nothing.

It feels like the world throws him in my face when I’m not looking and before I can stand up to say goodbye, he’s gone.

What an odd coincidence it is.

Running into you after all this time.

In a town that isn’t mine.

A town that’s barely his.

Keeping up with this feels like an unwanted chore.

It’s not my choice.

I see him every once in a while in my dreams, and that’s the end of it.

I see him once in a while in reality, and we don’t speak of it.

I see him in pictures and I picture myself in her place.

Then I picture myself going insane.

“This is stupid” I think and gently whisper out loud when no ones listening.

But it’s the furthest thing.

Meeting him was like meeting someone from my past that I’d never met in person before.

It’s not something I can explain, but that’s not going to stop me.

People say movies are not real, story book endings are written so there’s always a happy one, and people don’t get these endings forever. His brown eyes tell a story different from the words falling from his mouth. Gentle and kind they are, with the same warning sign for me to flea. His arrogance creates a fire in me. His smirk matches mine, and I am at a loss for words. How can he still excite me to the point where my whole day is rearranged by the sign of his name. What is it. Why is it. How can it. How could it. Does he know what he’s doing in this universe we’re stuck in, or does he not have a clue, like me. Maybe we’re both two bumbling blobs, or maybe we’re on track to something bigger than we know. But he has someone right now, and I need to keep letting that go.