Tag Archives: truth

I Have A Choice

Get this.

I’m wearing this eyeshadow, I’m wearing this full face of makeup, or at least what *I* consider a full face of makeup— for Myself.

I’m not wearing it because social media told me to.

I have a choice.

I have an option of whether or not I want to wear makeup.

Everyone seems to try to pinpoint what is “right” and what is “wrong” all the time, or they try to keep on everyone’s side to seem like they aren’t bias.

Now let me tell you, I care, I do. I care a lot about everyone I meet, what people think of me (semi-sometimes) because everyone feels this way, it’s just natural to care.

Everyone questions “am I good enough, is this winged liner even, do I even feel like wearing foundation today… no, but I’m going to wear it anyways because there’s this cute guy in my class and in order for me to work up the courage to even look at him I have to look inside my soul, find this confidence that’s buried somewhere, and LET IT FREE by wearing whatever make-up makes me feel damn GOOD on this day.”

Yes, that sentence was completely bombastic and slightly unnecessary.

But the key thing to remember out of what I just said is confidence.

Everyone has it, it’s fueled by different things. Me for instance, I do better at life in general when I feel like myself, when I feel good, whether that’s with make-up or without.

There used to be a time where I wore make-up because I felt like I had to. I felt naked without it, or I felt just completely not myself.

And sometimes I still do feel that way, but I’ve noticed the caring on that level has SUNK, let me tell you.

I went out in public, with no makeup, hadn’t washed my hair, I looked like I was going through a crisis slightly, because I kinda sort of was, and I took a smoothie to this guy that sort of liked me but I wanted to be clear we were just friends and I thought he was sweet.

SoooooOoOoooOOOOOO I went back in the house and immediately was asked “what, you went out like that?” and I said “yes, who cares? If he likes me anyways then he needs to see the real me, and accept me, right?”

*laughs at self *

…………………………………

ohhh my goddd

And then the other person just looked at me and smiled probably internally screaming “what happened to you?!?!?!”

But seriously, I’m sitting here telling you that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing to feel good about yourself.

You don’t have to wear a full face of makeup; you don’t even have to wear any make-up.

And yes I know there are girls that exist who do both proudly and props to you, I am that person too—sometimes.

But the truth is, I just love makeup. And, I also just love rubbing my eyes.

Everyone stresses about being liked but it’s all about doing whatever you like— that will help you achieve this happiness and validation you’re searching for.

And if you’re really looking for likes, you need to be yourself. An original, not a copy of a neighbor or celebrity; you’ll be surprised how many positive responses you get when you yourself feel good about what you’re doing, wearing, and putting out into the world.

*P.S. I sort of want to film a video on this, do you have any thoughts on it? Am I missing anything or do you sort of relate to me at all? I’d love to hear. 🙂

Love,

Nat

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Genuine Music and Genuine Soul

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (assuming you’re not Patrick Star that is), you should know that Harry Styles is kicking ass in the music industry.

He’s making a mark, his own mark with music influenced from what he enjoys listening to and what he would listen to.

“Sign of The Times” has been out since a couple weeks ago and just recently on Saturday Night Live (SNL) he debuted another song called “Ever Since New York” which I have to say might be even better than the “Sign Of The Times” track.

I’m writing this simply to let you know that Styles is worth listening to whether with old or young ears, it’s a new vibe that isn’t electronic or auto-tuned to the hilt– it’s fresh, new, and genuine from the artist.

Music like this, is music that will never go out of style.

Also, I have to add that Jimmy Fallon and Styles were Amazing on SNL. Amazing with a capital “A.” Both are hilarious, both are talented AF, and both do something to me heart I can’t describe besides make it smile.

Love,

Nat

P.S. I watched Moana for the first time EVER last night (finally!), and that Disney movie is fantastic. Go watch it if you haven’t, just go. ❤

Also, The photo on the SNL set I believe was taken by Rosalind O’Connor (who’s amazing, at least from what I’ve seen over on SNL’S Facebook page. 🙂

A Face Of Truth

Today I put on a face of determination. That includes a flick on the eye, a bold lip for a change, and a smirk. Everyone has different faces for different moments and different environments, but I have only ever had one face. Whether it be painted to the hilt, or bare; I have always had the same face and I will always have the same face. Walking outside, in a world I’m not most familiar with, I am recognized and in turn I am in shock. I was under the impression that wearing a lot of makeup drowns a person and creates a false image, whereas people still recognize me with or without makeup- even when I believe I am painting a false image. It’s because I don’t change my face to the point of it being someone else’s; is what I was told. Facial modes will change given time and given challenges, but I will forever have the same face. I’ve always admired different characters, different books, different stories, simply being different. But maybe I don’t have to be different, because I’m already an original. I will not place myself under my own telescope anymore. I will not listen to those who give me questioning looks, or pick at me from their throne of life’s lies, I am here to be one person and love myslef. I am determined to prove that I only paint a face of truth. 

Happy Accidents

Everything happens for a reason.

While I may not understand the reasoning behind some peoples choices or actions, I know what I am capable of and who I am as a person.

I am not lazy, I am not uptight to the point where if I get something wrong that I hide away, because making a mistake or having an assumption be made of me is simply another step into the direction of where I am meant to go.

The only way to battle someones accusations or negativity towards you is to progress in your own life.

Don’t look back, try to find answers in the moment– but if there is the case where you cannot find answers, know that this is sometimes unavoidable.

Not everyone will have an answer for you, nor will you be able to comprehend why one shuts you out of finding an answer.

But, remember, everything happens for a reason.

Normally when something negative, or a string of negative events occur, it is building up to other opportunities. It is up to you to accept the changes, and welcome the new moments.

The new experiences, whether it be love, a job, a person, or something simple like trying a new candy bar, are all good experiences.

Because they are changes, and people need changes in order to grow.

I know that there are moments where you want to do nothing and lay in your bed because the world has gotten you a little too down– but you aren’t meant to stay there forever.

You are meant to get back up, discover your stability, and keep treading forward because you aren’t meant to have it figured out nor are you meant to figure things out.

Sometimes things happen out of nowhere, and thats okay.

Sometimes there are good mistakes and happy accidents, believe it or not.

How else would the red and blue Nintendo Switch have come about for instance.

Love,

Nat

We Need to Chat about My Future

I am at a loss for words as I sit in the lobby of a building typing this, something that is out of my comfort zone a bit, because I’m not in the comfort of my room let alone in my hometown.

I used to think the dream was to be away from my hometown, to be off on adventures no matter whether it was a hike through some woods, a walk around a city, or on a plane (has happened few times for me) going somewhere entirely different.

I crave adventure.

I want new experiences.

And I want good memories to overshadow my awkward self that I love– but to a degree.

I used to believe I would be stuck forever in my room a shy, self-conscious (during my early teenage years) yet confident person with a desperate need to explore new opportunities and environments. Falling victim to having aspirations and hope, yet eventually with time, no matter how hard I worked or believed, fearing failure.

There is no failing.

Oprah Winfrey didn’t fail as she began her life as a talk show host, producer, actress etc. after being fired at 23 from her first reporting job.

Tina Fey didn’t fail, now a comedian and actress worked at the YMCA age 23.

Stephen King, an iconic author didn’t fail as he lived in a trailer and worked as a janitor age 24.

J.K. Rowling, (another iconic author) of the Harry Potter Series was practically homeless at the age of 28.

Vera Wang, a fashion designer known around the world didn’t design her first dress until age 40.

The late Julia child,  a chef you may have noticed, inspired the movie Julie and Julia and didn’t release her first cook book until age 49.

The late Alan Rickman, was not a widely known actor until age 42 when he landed his first role after deciding to stop pursuing graphic design.

And so on and so on…

So if someone tells me I need to give up and that I’ll never amount to anything– even if that person is me at times– I remind myself of these amazing people who got their start in the middle, and many with struggles.

Everything takes time, the issue is that my time is up on making a decision in regards to college decisions.

Choosing a major, choosing an area of focus, deciding where I’ll live next year and who the hell with, let alone whether or not I want to pursue my dream of traveling despite the realization that I actually like comfort… is mind boggling.

Yes, in a sense that comfort has been ripped away over the last few days, but whose to say it hasn’t been slowly building up over the course of a year.

Also known as, the mid-college crisis.

I know it will get better, but it is incredibly frustrating to remember this as I’m being stretched thin by my own unstable comprehension.

I know I can get through these decisions everyone says not to worry about, but the time is now and plain as day that I can either try for my dream and fail a few times in the process, or I can give up all together and settle.

I’m not one for settling, I’m one for finding an alternate way around a situation so that I can make the most out of what I’ve been given to work with.

Life can be crazy, challenging, and exhausting  but to write our own story we all have to go along with the ride and hope we end up somewhere amazing.

I Look Up To You

I get a call asking me where I am, why I haven’t shown up for work.

I am home.

I am happy.

I am in my car, with my mom, going to pick up my sister from work, and no stress whatsoever.

I’ve just watched “A dog’s purpose.”

Not the best emotional state, but definitely not putting up with these so called “responsibilities” I was never notified about to begin with.

Especially considering I was under the impression I was terminated from my job.

The job that I work 100 percent at every single day, the job that I get truck done (shipments sent to the store weekly) 70% faster than everyone else, the job where I give everyone smiles and respect unless a bad vibe is inevitably present. The job where I take a photo of the schedule every single time I am there, yet due to not being present for a while was unable to do so and was told she would be called if needed and that it was “nothing personal,” although we both know it was.

Even then, I still smile sometimes in hopes of the small chance they’ll smile back.

Offended doesn’t even begin to explain my feelings as I speak to my coworkers, people who used to love me, people I used to talk to and laugh with, who now look at me with a hint of disdain.

Or at least, that’s how it feels.

Not even a goodbye back as I head out the door.

What happened?

I question it all, as I continue the job I’m supposed to do.

One day a week due to school swarming me, I was unable to do what I could the year before and during the summer which was 3 or 4 days during the year, and almost every day during the summer.

The first day feeling of spring in the air, with 60 degree weather and not a cloud in the sky– has turned to rain in my mind.

Due to something so unbelievably stupid.

I’ve seen many people come and go through my almost two years at this establishment, but it didn’t occur to me that maybe some were pushed out.

Or voluntarily left, because it became much more difficult under the thumb of new store management.

It got complicated– we all have lives, but don’t we all have sympathy as well?

I am not lazy. I have bad days.

I am not a slacker, I try to balance everything at once.

I am not a slow learner, I learn quickly but due to lack of sleep not as comprehensive at times–few times for that matter.

I am not a person who takes malarkey that’s thrown my way. If I know you are lying–

I will call you out.

Boss or not.

If you know me, you know that I care.

You know that I have a shy nature with glimpses of an outgoing presence. 

This gives the impression of being a snob or conceited at times, but it is far from reality.

There are times when I’m way too sorry, when I’m way too lenient, when I’m way too nice– but do not mistake that for weakness.

You never want to mistake kindness for weakness.

But when something does ding ones heart a little too bad, water will flow from my eyes like a waterfall, especially when deceived regardless of whether or not I knew I was being treated like putty.

I am stronger than this.

I am worth more than this.

I can do better than this.

Someone came in today who used to work with me– she is doing much better, and let me tell you she was not in her best form before starting this new job. She is happier, she is smiling, she looks damn good, she ain’t lost it (had to reference Beyoncé’s song).

I don’t intend to lose it either.

I haven’t yet, why the hell would I now?

I want to see the world and I will not get the thought of a chance, if I continue with where I am now.

I deserve better, just as my coworkers deserve better– they are all amazing people.

From the one who looks like she’s in college yet in reality has been married forever with a teenage son, isn’t a huge fan of tampa, and has gave me the mystery machine hot wheels car before someone else grabbed it, you are one that I look up to, and slightly idolize.

From the one who also looks like she’s in college, and drinks her coffee like a Gilmore to have time to spend with her 3 year old daughter and play video games, one that I look up to.

From the one who I didn’t meet until last year, he gave me a free mascara that ended up being top-notch by the way, if he ever reads this. He is the life of the party, and one that I look up to.

From the one who is never not sarcastic, and knocks people over for fun (not in a bad way)–literally. The one that helped me out when he could, which was really nice, maybe I was too dependent at times. One that I look up to.

From the one who I only ever say “hello” to when I walk through the door but works in a different section of the store and is always complimented by the elderly who can’t remember his name, I look up to you.

From the one who was terminated or quit, that came back then left again, I hope you and your fiancé (or now husband) are doing well, I look up to you, even if you’re only a few years older.

From the one who never failed to put a smile on my face that gave me a near heart attack when mentioning a stomach issue– I’m glad you’re feeling better. I look up to you.

From the one who is chatty, and makes everyone chatty too even if they’ve had a blue day, you are gorgeous, funny, and remind me of a friend.

From the one who liked early mornings would talk politics and english with me– you are so flawless and sometimes it seems like you don’t even know it. Never ever let someone make you feel inferior because you are one of the smartest people I have ever met in my life.

From the one who wore flowers in her hair, you are so kind and cheery, you are one that I look up to.

From the one I din’t see too often but reminded me of Ryan Gosling, you’re pretty cool, just keep being you, I look up to you.

From the new guy who always seems a bit bland, I’m sure you are super funny, and your also a hard worker, I look up to you.

From the one I met one day that I never got to know because you work in a different section, you are amazing and it’s a shame we never knew each other better because I think we’d have been good friends, I look up to you.

From the one who walked home with me a few times  (even though you have a skateboard which is freaking amazing) that I told about Safe Trek, you seem really awesome, I look up to you.

From the guy who’s my age that got married, I have no clue what happened to you but I hope you are well and still swimming no matter the outcome of one event, you are one that I look up to.

From the one who was gone unexpectedly as I returned for the school year, I hope you love your new job and still carry all the wisdom you gave me. Btw, the blonde wig looked nice on you, you are one that I look up to.

From the one who disappeared, but seemed to have a bit of trouble in the beginning- I am SO glad you are doing better. You deserve it– your sister isn’t the only one who is climbing mountains, you are one that I look up to. ❤

From previous management that was there when I started, I hope you are safe, happy, not weighed down by your dad who seems to be too much at times (at least from what I’ve witnessed), and enjoying sun somewhere, even if it isn’t Florida. It was always smiles from every single worker when you were there. You are a natural leader, I look up to you. 

To the new girls who started this fall, you’re all hard workers and seem to be really sweet.

However, the new store management and jerks who don’t believe in my power to bounce back, can kiss it.

Love,

Nat

 

Fresh Rose Review

This has grown on me.

It started out with me being ecstatic to use it because it smells like roses (one of my favorite things / scents) and then turned into me questioning it.

Yes, I read reviews before buying it (it is about $40), and yes I also googled photos and some information before as well.

I’m not the type to just blow $40, I mean unless I was given $500 or something, which has yet to happen to me at random.

What drew me to it was that Fresh (a company originated in Italy) made it, the one that also makes the one that smells like cucumbers (Youth preserve with lotus etc. etc. very long name) which I also absolutely love– maybe even more than this one. It also has the word “hydration” in it.

On my first use of this, I had SUPER dry skin– the worst to the point where even the moisturizer seemed to pare off on the sides of my face. The absolute worst. It has slowly improved with time whereas the Fresh Lotus one made a change in my skin in a SNAP. I genuinely noticed a difference wishing the first three days whereas with this moisturizer it has taken a few weeks.

It could also very much be due to the fact that I’ve been working my a** off that created a blurred line between noticing good skin and bad.

This winter has been no friend of my skin. So in that case I went on a hunt to find a good moisturizer, I have to tell you that this one is great–but I don’t believe it does the trick for me personally. In terms of favorite moisturizer for all eternity, I have yet to discover that.

I suggest it, but I suggest trying a sample before committing to it as I say with every product ever, yet still holds true. Or if you simply cannot wait but don’t have the budget, try the Fresh Youth preserve travel size for $17.

This Fresh Rose Deep Rehydration Face Cream is moisturizing, reduces redness, has cute and simple packaging, has a fresh scent, and feels like a dream.

It comes in a glass jar (be careful, don’t drop it) with a pink-copper-metallic lid that is chic yet inviting and looks damn good sat on top of a dresser.

❤ Nat

Phonecase Love

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If you want a great, quality phone case I highly suggest this one from Etsy. Not only because of the new “Beauty and the Beast” film (featuring Emma Watson) coming to theaters soon, but because it’s freaking gorgeous and everyone needs something to protect their phone. Why not use style?

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IMG_8486.jpgThe one I just received (my first ever purchase on Etsy by the way, not including the countless hours I’ve spent scrolling through it in the past) mirrors a stain glass red rose, on a blue background which seeps into black towards the bottom and around the edges of the case. When looking closely at it there are miniscopic sparkles scattered throughout making it look all the more beautiful too.

With a rating of four and a half stars and 117 reviews, their page is at least worth taking a look at.

Along with this phone case, there are plenty of other options from this seller alone. Even better? There is currently a 24 hour flash sale cutting the price from $19.95 to $11.05– amazing. I suggest running to your laptop or phone now.

Oh, and coolest thing of all– It’s shipped from FRANCE.

The 3 Best Makeup Removers

IMG_8475.jpgFrom left to right: No. 7 Beautiful skin wipes, Simple Micellar water, Lancôme Bi-facial Double Action eye makeup remover

 

  1. The No. 7 Beautiful skin wipes I discovered in Ulta over the summer, they are made in the U.K. (at the time Ulta was incorporating more U.K. brands into the mix so I jumped on the bandwagon, of course) and these were one of the first things on my list.

They are hydrating, a stretchier, covered material rather than     dry and harsh on this skin. They remove makeup in a swipe and leave zero breakouts.

2.  The Simple Micellar water is one of the first products I ever tried from the brand, and still the reigning champ of the brand in my eyes. I first used it in 2014 (during the summer, once again) and instantly fell in love. Didn’t break me out, can be used without water, and gets off makeup whether using a cotton pad or my hands.

3. The Lancôme Bi-Facial Double Action eye makeup remover is my tried and true, old and blue favorite. I began using it when I was 12, whenever I wore the odd bit of brown eyeliner in middle school– yes, you heard that right. Not even consistent, but random days I decided to line my bottom lashes and not even think to add mascara.

It gives an oily consistencey– I would suggest shaking it up to mix the ingredients. It also provides very little effort in removing makeup, the littlest bit will clean my entire eye, that is with mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, eyebrows, highlight, foundation, etc. A little goes a long way, it can be used on more than just the eye are of the face, it smells amazing and clean, your face will feel like a baby’s bum after using it. It’s flipping amazing.

 

If you have tried any of these products, please let me know what you think of them, I love them and all opinions are my own and nothing has been sponsored (just in case I get a doubter) or embellished. I freaking love all of these, they have reserved spots in my heart forever.

Thanks for reading! ^_^

Love,

Nat ❤

Beauty and The Beast

Beauty and The Beast is one of my favorite Disney films of all time.

Belle is no ordinary princess, she was not born into royalty nor whisked away by a handsome prince. She learned to love the prince for who he was, not through is appearance or what he could give her.

Before the beast stumbled into her life (I am going off the animation version, not the original tale of Beauty and The Beast) where she was considered “weird” yet beautiful by people in her town due to the fact that she read books. Her family also didn’t possess a lot of money, so spoiled is in no way a word to describe Belle.

As always, Belle does her thing and goes about her days, passing the time with a book or talking to her father about his inventions whilst Gaston continues to bug her and ask for her hand in marriage, that conceited son of a b–

 

Now, with the trailers coming out of the new “Beauty and the beast” live action film set to take place in theaters come March 17th (St. Patrick’s day fellow Irish– keep in mind, I only have partial Irish in my blood) it is easy to investigate the differences through the animated film and the soon to be aired, live action movie.

 

I’m not gonna lie, I can already tell lumiere is going to bother me during the entire film because he has two separate legs instead of a candlestick base. :’)

I’m still giving the movie a chance regardless of all of these changes (Of course, they’re attempting to make the movie into real life and it is difficult, hence the need for digital animation and autotune) but so many of these things really didn’t need to be altered??

I mean, chip as another example. I imagined him to be cute, not scare me with his eyes…

beauty-and-the-beast-chip

I’m trying my best to keep an open mind, and I am still incredibly excited for it, but come on. That auto tune is insane.

The auto tune is however noticed prominently more on certain areas of the song rather than the entire thing, which isn’t detrimental.

The reason I love the musical movies (rent, les miz, but les miz especially because a lot of their scenes tended to be live rather than recorded and added to the film making it more raw and emotional) is due to the reality of the situation it delivers rather than pre-recorded or seen on a stage where a lot of the emotions aren’t picked up in facial expressions because they are so far away. Including films that are simply films until the addition of music (because music is something that everyone can understand and feel regardless of language or any sort of barrier between people).

Don’t even get me started about the dress, please. But, seeing the entire blue dress– I felt better about it than originally when there was only the image of the collar and I was just not having it haha.

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I imagined it to look like this fan-made (sorry, not sure who created it) image:

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As for the winter dress, I wish the puffy hood was still a thing, although the new dress is stunning as well.

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Made by toughtink on Instagram. I absolutely love her dress.

 

I don’t mind the beasts’ horns much, although wouldn’t it have been easier to keep them short like in the animation? Just throwing that out there.

I’m so excited for the movie, I’m sure everyone else is as well, it’s just a few changes we need to get used to even if we would go about them a different way. Although I’m not so sure I could forgive what they did to Chip and Lumiere, time will tell though.

If you envisioned any aspect of the movie to be different, please let me know what and how you would alter it. Also, If your super thrilled for the movie to FINALLY be released, please mention that too. 😛

Nat ❤

❤ Note: All photos and videos are not my own, these belong to the creators and uploaders. ❤