Tag Archives: work

Live your best life 

Being 20 is just a heightened teenage level, except you add on $40,000 or so’s worth of a college hole to that, along with growing older and distant to being a kid. 

This is when you realize life is the complete opposite of easy- or at least when it really crystallizes. 

I’ll never lose my love for cartoons or the simple things in life like walking my dog, eating my favorite food on a day off, or browsing the Internet till 2 AM (although, maybe it’d be a good thing to get rid of that).

What I will lose are pieces of who I am. 

Everyone changes and morphs into whoever they are meant to be… but that’s with our own decisions– and time. 

I want to make good decisions. 

I don’t want to overwork myself at the age of 20 until I am wrinkled, lonely, and bombarded all of a sudden by children and some “new chapter of my life” because I went along with what I was expected to do.

I love new chapters, but I believe there is a right time and a right place. At the moment I’m being swarmed with what I THINK I should be doing, and not what I SHOULD be doing at the age of 20. 

This is the start to a new decade, I’ve finally almost reached the drinking age, but what about after? What will I be able to look forward to after college is finished and I’m legally able to do everything I’d need to (in talking about smoking and drinking which I’ve never had a massive interest in).

This year I am dedicating myself to my work and my goals. Not focusing on making money, more so working towards my future. 

Although, we all need money, to live. It is what it is in that case, but should everyone be worked to the core in order to thrive… or if we end up lucky, are we destined to forget the feeling of work and the accomplished feeling afterwards? 

Work, work, work, work, work, is all I feel like I’m doing. 

I love my job, I love the people I work with, however I can’t stay in this place for the rest of my life, nor should I allow myself to feel like this is all there will ever be for me, because I’m only 20. 

It’s a big number, but it’s also tiny. I still have about 60 years to go (knock on wood).

Something as little as saying “no” to working more guts me, yet not at all because I know I deserve some time off.

What life is it I’m living? 

Is it my own, or the life I feel I’m supposed to?

Maybe everyone’s right and this feeling is only temporary, however, how can I grow if this is all I know.

I hope your all living you’re best life. 

Love, 

Nat 💖

I Have A Choice

Get this.

I’m wearing this eyeshadow, I’m wearing this full face of makeup, or at least what *I* consider a full face of makeup— for Myself.

I’m not wearing it because social media told me to.

I have a choice.

I have an option of whether or not I want to wear makeup.

Everyone seems to try to pinpoint what is “right” and what is “wrong” all the time, or they try to keep on everyone’s side to seem like they aren’t bias.

Now let me tell you, I care, I do. I care a lot about everyone I meet, what people think of me (semi-sometimes) because everyone feels this way, it’s just natural to care.

Everyone questions “am I good enough, is this winged liner even, do I even feel like wearing foundation today… no, but I’m going to wear it anyways because there’s this cute guy in my class and in order for me to work up the courage to even look at him I have to look inside my soul, find this confidence that’s buried somewhere, and LET IT FREE by wearing whatever make-up makes me feel damn GOOD on this day.”

Yes, that sentence was completely bombastic and slightly unnecessary.

But the key thing to remember out of what I just said is confidence.

Everyone has it, it’s fueled by different things. Me for instance, I do better at life in general when I feel like myself, when I feel good, whether that’s with make-up or without.

There used to be a time where I wore make-up because I felt like I had to. I felt naked without it, or I felt just completely not myself.

And sometimes I still do feel that way, but I’ve noticed the caring on that level has SUNK, let me tell you.

I went out in public, with no makeup, hadn’t washed my hair, I looked like I was going through a crisis slightly, because I kinda sort of was, and I took a smoothie to this guy that sort of liked me but I wanted to be clear we were just friends and I thought he was sweet.

SoooooOoOoooOOOOOO I went back in the house and immediately was asked “what, you went out like that?” and I said “yes, who cares? If he likes me anyways then he needs to see the real me, and accept me, right?”

*laughs at self *

…………………………………

ohhh my goddd

And then the other person just looked at me and smiled probably internally screaming “what happened to you?!?!?!”

But seriously, I’m sitting here telling you that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing to feel good about yourself.

You don’t have to wear a full face of makeup; you don’t even have to wear any make-up.

And yes I know there are girls that exist who do both proudly and props to you, I am that person too—sometimes.

But the truth is, I just love makeup. And, I also just love rubbing my eyes.

Everyone stresses about being liked but it’s all about doing whatever you like— that will help you achieve this happiness and validation you’re searching for.

And if you’re really looking for likes, you need to be yourself. An original, not a copy of a neighbor or celebrity; you’ll be surprised how many positive responses you get when you yourself feel good about what you’re doing, wearing, and putting out into the world.

*P.S. I sort of want to film a video on this, do you have any thoughts on it? Am I missing anything or do you sort of relate to me at all? I’d love to hear. 🙂

Love,

Nat

Know You’re Faults

It’s important to know you’re faults. Your own faults.

Not everything is everyone else’s fault.

Here are some of mine:

  1. I am shy- very painstakingly shy.
  2. I talk a lot or sometimes not at all when I get nervous.
  3. I’m an introvert, I like to be left alone- not be alone (as Audrey Hepburn says). That’s a little hard when it comes to being surrounded by a bunch of extroverts in my family with opinions. Then again, what’s a family without opinions on every thing you do?
  4. I want to travel- so so so so badly. But, I can’t save a penny for my life. I do spend on myself sometimes but I also love to buy things for other people and disregard the fact that it will jack up my bank account.
  5. I jumble words (this is something I found out more recently).
  6. I have weird feet. There, I said it: I don’t like my feet. That’s not so much of a fault as it is a criticism of my own appearance.
  7. I can get jealous.
  8. But I also really don’t care at the same time because I believe the sayings “everything happens for a reason” and “if it’s meant to be it will be.”

 

Good things:

  1. I’m compassionate. I’ve always gone above and beyond when it comes to empathy and if I so much as hear a sad snippet of someone’s story whether fiction or non-fiction I will most likely tear up. I think this is more a good thing than bad because it shows I’m human.
  2. I have moments where I’m fearless and throw all caution to the wind whether it comes to an interview, trying something new, or simply talking to someone I haven’t before. These are my favorite.
  3. I’m quiet. This means I listen to people.
  4. I want to travel- what kind of world would it be if I couldn’t read and travel through books at least?
  5. I’m a hard worker. I always have been (the main thing I focus on is details), I don’t know any other way. And if something were to not be perfect, I’ll either try a different way or accept it and move on.
  6. I’m Care free. I’m care-free but not to the point where I give zero damns about anything.
  7. I have a fast metabolism and like chocolate a lot so it sort of balances out lol.
  8. I own up to anything wrong or misleading I’ve done (or sometimes paranoidly think I do).

*IMPORTANT: If you make a mistake or hurt someones feelings, please own up to it as soon as possible or try to fix in some way. There’s a lot more respect, and less regrets if you do so.*

What are some of your faults / good qualities?

Happy Accidents

Everything happens for a reason.

While I may not understand the reasoning behind some peoples choices or actions, I know what I am capable of and who I am as a person.

I am not lazy, I am not uptight to the point where if I get something wrong that I hide away, because making a mistake or having an assumption be made of me is simply another step into the direction of where I am meant to go.

The only way to battle someones accusations or negativity towards you is to progress in your own life.

Don’t look back, try to find answers in the moment– but if there is the case where you cannot find answers, know that this is sometimes unavoidable.

Not everyone will have an answer for you, nor will you be able to comprehend why one shuts you out of finding an answer.

But, remember, everything happens for a reason.

Normally when something negative, or a string of negative events occur, it is building up to other opportunities. It is up to you to accept the changes, and welcome the new moments.

The new experiences, whether it be love, a job, a person, or something simple like trying a new candy bar, are all good experiences.

Because they are changes, and people need changes in order to grow.

I know that there are moments where you want to do nothing and lay in your bed because the world has gotten you a little too down– but you aren’t meant to stay there forever.

You are meant to get back up, discover your stability, and keep treading forward because you aren’t meant to have it figured out nor are you meant to figure things out.

Sometimes things happen out of nowhere, and thats okay.

Sometimes there are good mistakes and happy accidents, believe it or not.

How else would the red and blue Nintendo Switch have come about for instance.

Love,

Nat

Don’t Be So Quick to Judge

I don’t believe all company’s use certain social issues and ideas to make a profit. There are some corporations that do, but in regards to the Budweiser commercial during the Super Bowl– I would not fit them in the category of money-grubbing.

If you have not seen the commercial that aired during the 2017 Super Bowl, it is the back story of the company’s start– specifically how Adolphus Busch (the founder of the beer) came to the U.S., with specific references to his journey.

Which was not an easy one.

In the end Busch met Eberhard Anheuser (who soon after became father-in-law due to his daughter Elizabeth Lilly marrying Busch), thus creating Budweiser.

He had a dream, and came to the U.S. (which is based on immigrants and every person coming together to create what would then be called a melting pot) to pursue it.

To claim the company, who released the commercial (due to certain concerns and tension involving the U.S. and other neighboring / not so close areas) as one who only looked to put out such a commercial due to making a profit is entirely demeaning to the actual man who this commercial is surrounding.

It truly bothers me when people say some corporations only promote things such as equality or hopefully bettering a situation ONLY to make a profit.

Not all companies are money-grubbing manipulations.

 

We Need to Chat about My Future

I am at a loss for words as I sit in the lobby of a building typing this, something that is out of my comfort zone a bit, because I’m not in the comfort of my room let alone in my hometown.

I used to think the dream was to be away from my hometown, to be off on adventures no matter whether it was a hike through some woods, a walk around a city, or on a plane (has happened few times for me) going somewhere entirely different.

I crave adventure.

I want new experiences.

And I want good memories to overshadow my awkward self that I love– but to a degree.

I used to believe I would be stuck forever in my room a shy, self-conscious (during my early teenage years) yet confident person with a desperate need to explore new opportunities and environments. Falling victim to having aspirations and hope, yet eventually with time, no matter how hard I worked or believed, fearing failure.

There is no failing.

Oprah Winfrey didn’t fail as she began her life as a talk show host, producer, actress etc. after being fired at 23 from her first reporting job.

Tina Fey didn’t fail, now a comedian and actress worked at the YMCA age 23.

Stephen King, an iconic author didn’t fail as he lived in a trailer and worked as a janitor age 24.

J.K. Rowling, (another iconic author) of the Harry Potter Series was practically homeless at the age of 28.

Vera Wang, a fashion designer known around the world didn’t design her first dress until age 40.

The late Julia child,  a chef you may have noticed, inspired the movie Julie and Julia and didn’t release her first cook book until age 49.

The late Alan Rickman, was not a widely known actor until age 42 when he landed his first role after deciding to stop pursuing graphic design.

And so on and so on…

So if someone tells me I need to give up and that I’ll never amount to anything– even if that person is me at times– I remind myself of these amazing people who got their start in the middle, and many with struggles.

Everything takes time, the issue is that my time is up on making a decision in regards to college decisions.

Choosing a major, choosing an area of focus, deciding where I’ll live next year and who the hell with, let alone whether or not I want to pursue my dream of traveling despite the realization that I actually like comfort… is mind boggling.

Yes, in a sense that comfort has been ripped away over the last few days, but whose to say it hasn’t been slowly building up over the course of a year.

Also known as, the mid-college crisis.

I know it will get better, but it is incredibly frustrating to remember this as I’m being stretched thin by my own unstable comprehension.

I know I can get through these decisions everyone says not to worry about, but the time is now and plain as day that I can either try for my dream and fail a few times in the process, or I can give up all together and settle.

I’m not one for settling, I’m one for finding an alternate way around a situation so that I can make the most out of what I’ve been given to work with.

Life can be crazy, challenging, and exhausting  but to write our own story we all have to go along with the ride and hope we end up somewhere amazing.

I Look Up To You

I get a call asking me where I am, why I haven’t shown up for work.

I am home.

I am happy.

I am in my car, with my mom, going to pick up my sister from work, and no stress whatsoever.

I’ve just watched “A dog’s purpose.”

Not the best emotional state, but definitely not putting up with these so called “responsibilities” I was never notified about to begin with.

Especially considering I was under the impression I was terminated from my job.

The job that I work 100 percent at every single day, the job that I get truck done (shipments sent to the store weekly) 70% faster than everyone else, the job where I give everyone smiles and respect unless a bad vibe is inevitably present. The job where I take a photo of the schedule every single time I am there, yet due to not being present for a while was unable to do so and was told she would be called if needed and that it was “nothing personal,” although we both know it was.

Even then, I still smile sometimes in hopes of the small chance they’ll smile back.

Offended doesn’t even begin to explain my feelings as I speak to my coworkers, people who used to love me, people I used to talk to and laugh with, who now look at me with a hint of disdain.

Or at least, that’s how it feels.

Not even a goodbye back as I head out the door.

What happened?

I question it all, as I continue the job I’m supposed to do.

One day a week due to school swarming me, I was unable to do what I could the year before and during the summer which was 3 or 4 days during the year, and almost every day during the summer.

The first day feeling of spring in the air, with 60 degree weather and not a cloud in the sky– has turned to rain in my mind.

Due to something so unbelievably stupid.

I’ve seen many people come and go through my almost two years at this establishment, but it didn’t occur to me that maybe some were pushed out.

Or voluntarily left, because it became much more difficult under the thumb of new store management.

It got complicated– we all have lives, but don’t we all have sympathy as well?

I am not lazy. I have bad days.

I am not a slacker, I try to balance everything at once.

I am not a slow learner, I learn quickly but due to lack of sleep not as comprehensive at times–few times for that matter.

I am not a person who takes malarkey that’s thrown my way. If I know you are lying–

I will call you out.

Boss or not.

If you know me, you know that I care.

You know that I have a shy nature with glimpses of an outgoing presence. 

This gives the impression of being a snob or conceited at times, but it is far from reality.

There are times when I’m way too sorry, when I’m way too lenient, when I’m way too nice– but do not mistake that for weakness.

You never want to mistake kindness for weakness.

But when something does ding ones heart a little too bad, water will flow from my eyes like a waterfall, especially when deceived regardless of whether or not I knew I was being treated like putty.

I am stronger than this.

I am worth more than this.

I can do better than this.

Someone came in today who used to work with me– she is doing much better, and let me tell you she was not in her best form before starting this new job. She is happier, she is smiling, she looks damn good, she ain’t lost it (had to reference Beyoncé’s song).

I don’t intend to lose it either.

I haven’t yet, why the hell would I now?

I want to see the world and I will not get the thought of a chance, if I continue with where I am now.

I deserve better, just as my coworkers deserve better– they are all amazing people.

From the one who looks like she’s in college yet in reality has been married forever with a teenage son, isn’t a huge fan of tampa, and has gave me the mystery machine hot wheels car before someone else grabbed it, you are one that I look up to, and slightly idolize.

From the one who also looks like she’s in college, and drinks her coffee like a Gilmore to have time to spend with her 3 year old daughter and play video games, one that I look up to.

From the one who I didn’t meet until last year, he gave me a free mascara that ended up being top-notch by the way, if he ever reads this. He is the life of the party, and one that I look up to.

From the one who is never not sarcastic, and knocks people over for fun (not in a bad way)–literally. The one that helped me out when he could, which was really nice, maybe I was too dependent at times. One that I look up to.

From the one who I only ever say “hello” to when I walk through the door but works in a different section of the store and is always complimented by the elderly who can’t remember his name, I look up to you.

From the one who was terminated or quit, that came back then left again, I hope you and your fiancé (or now husband) are doing well, I look up to you, even if you’re only a few years older.

From the one who never failed to put a smile on my face that gave me a near heart attack when mentioning a stomach issue– I’m glad you’re feeling better. I look up to you.

From the one who is chatty, and makes everyone chatty too even if they’ve had a blue day, you are gorgeous, funny, and remind me of a friend.

From the one who liked early mornings would talk politics and english with me– you are so flawless and sometimes it seems like you don’t even know it. Never ever let someone make you feel inferior because you are one of the smartest people I have ever met in my life.

From the one who wore flowers in her hair, you are so kind and cheery, you are one that I look up to.

From the one I din’t see too often but reminded me of Ryan Gosling, you’re pretty cool, just keep being you, I look up to you.

From the new guy who always seems a bit bland, I’m sure you are super funny, and your also a hard worker, I look up to you.

From the one I met one day that I never got to know because you work in a different section, you are amazing and it’s a shame we never knew each other better because I think we’d have been good friends, I look up to you.

From the one who walked home with me a few times  (even though you have a skateboard which is freaking amazing) that I told about Safe Trek, you seem really awesome, I look up to you.

From the guy who’s my age that got married, I have no clue what happened to you but I hope you are well and still swimming no matter the outcome of one event, you are one that I look up to.

From the one who was gone unexpectedly as I returned for the school year, I hope you love your new job and still carry all the wisdom you gave me. Btw, the blonde wig looked nice on you, you are one that I look up to.

From the one who disappeared, but seemed to have a bit of trouble in the beginning- I am SO glad you are doing better. You deserve it– your sister isn’t the only one who is climbing mountains, you are one that I look up to. ❤

From previous management that was there when I started, I hope you are safe, happy, not weighed down by your dad who seems to be too much at times (at least from what I’ve witnessed), and enjoying sun somewhere, even if it isn’t Florida. It was always smiles from every single worker when you were there. You are a natural leader, I look up to you. 

To the new girls who started this fall, you’re all hard workers and seem to be really sweet.

However, the new store management and jerks who don’t believe in my power to bounce back, can kiss it.

Love,

Nat

 

Ourselves

Decisions have the potential to ruin a person.

A decision on staying with someone after they’ve done you wrong.

A decision on moving across the country for something you love, instead of something practical.

A decision on throwing in the towel after you’ve had what feels like 1,000 chances on fixing a mistake that’s been eating you up inside, yet the other person may have never felt hindered by it to begin with.

It’s not easy to walk around feeling as though your holding up a sign that says ‘pity me’ while going through issues every 20-something, 40-something, or 60-something year old faces.

Life wouldn’t be fun if it was perfect– an age old fact.

Life would become boring and dull without any hardships or struggles along the way, easier however; maybe.

But easy isn’t always right.

In fact, easy is what I try to avoid.

But sometimes we need the easy way when we are too jumbled up to decipher the best plan for ourselves.

I don’t know what I’m doing right now, but I know that this will only lead to whatever giant step I’m headed towards down the line.

Thanks for listening to this randomness,

Nat

 

 

 

Q & A 2016

I logged into WordPress wanting to post a blog, realizing I haven’t posted in a while and then stumbled on a notification saying I’ve been on this site for two years.

Wow, I mean wow.

I am absolute crap at posting (although in my defense I’ve been trying to upload a YouTube video and failing completely due to the editing system I was using) so in order to make that up and to have you all get to know me a bit better I decided to post a Q&A.

I hope it’s fun to read haha– it is sort of a long post, so bare with me. Or, disappear while you have the chance. 🙂

Hereee we go:

  1. Do you have any siblings?

Yes, i have one 19 year old sister. We are fraternal twins, she has blonde hair and blue eyes whist i have brown hair and brown eyes.

2. How old are you?

I’m 19 & my birthday is on the 13th of October.

3. What’s your height?

5ft 2″ i think…

4. What’s your top/dress size?

I’m a 2 or 4 depending on the store I go to.

5. Do you have any diet plans/tips?

I don’t. I should, but i don’t. I sort of just eat whatever i feel like but food that’s bad for me tends to be number one. I’ve been eating a lot more fruit recently and trying out new recipes which reminds me i want to share one soon– so we’ll have to see how this pans out.

6. Do you workout/How do you stay so slim?

This is going to sound terrible, but i don’t. I have a high metabolism which allows me to stay slim (this will most definitely change in a few years) although at one point I did do yoga in High School. I do really want to start exercising though, lately I have been walking too! So a point for me haha.

7. Do you have any pets?

I have a dog that’s a wheaten terrier named Riley who I also call Bubba sometimes. He is the best dog, I love him to pieces even though he’s 12 and STILL acts like a puppy. That’s what I love about him though.

8. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

This will sound boring..but nothing. I like organizing from time to time– that stresses me out/ reaxes me lol. Majority of the time though I’ll be watching YouTube videos and maybe reading.

9. Who inspires you?

So many people inspire me. I can’t pick one. Ii get inspired from everyone to be honest, anyone I meet could be an inspiration.

10. What do you feel is your greatest achievement?

Winning a debate against a snooty guy who thought I was nothing but a lollygagging girl. He certainly got a surprise. 🙂

11. What do you value most in life?

The people that value me. Not the fakers. They suck.

12. What do you do?

I am currently going into my Junior year of college (aka University). I worked at school this past year while studying and am working for the same company this summer. Not sure how much longer I will stay– but everyone’s been super sweet and I’ve loved it WAY more than my old job (my Co-workers were great, the customers however tended to be a little interesting).

13. What is your dream job?

My dream job…hmm..my dream job would be a Journalist. I have had a lot of ideas but Journalism is always the one I come back to. Plus, law school is incredibly expensive and maybe a paralegal one day, but first I’m chasing my Journalism dream. Writing, simply anything where I can write would be amazing.

14. Do you make good grades?

Yes. I try my best with everything I do– however, this year has brought on many new challenges such as working while studying and having a new relationship etc.– not that those are setbacks! But with everything being new to me, I had to constantly remind myself to breathe which was a pain in itself but I got my behind back in gear.

15. Do you want to get married later on in life?

Of course, as does every other girl. I have always been a super girly girl. I could talk about makeup forever simply because i find it fun. I also have day’s where I am the complete opposite though–not that either one is a bad thing, I’m just telling you the straight up truth. I would never marry the wrong person just for a wedding– I think it’s best to meet the one that is in it for you (everything about you) and the one you love whole-heartedley too. I hope I get married to someone who is genuinely my best friend and also love that will stick with me until the end. Of course, I don’t want to rush any of that. I personally feel the youngest I want to be married is 27 so I can figure my stuff out and live my life and so that whoever marries me can do the same.

16. Do you have any phobias?

Spiders. I am not a fan of them at all. I also don’t like the ocean. I don’t trust/ know what’s in it and I think its best to just stay far away.

17. Have you ever had a near death experience?

I haven’t really.

18. Do you get mad easily?

No, I don’t get mad easily. But if someone is being a complete idiot for a while, I will get frustrated and upset instead of mad.

19. Heels or flats?

I love wedges, I don’t feel as incapable of walking. haha

20. Favourite moisturiser?

Right now it’s Nivea, it used to be clinique’s dramatically different moisturizer

21. Where do you buy most of your clothes from?

Forever 21 / Pacsun / American  Eagle

22. Favorite Shop?

This is annoying but I don’t have a favorite shop.

23. Favorite makeup brand?

Mac (just for the lipstick and currently the MSFN), Too Faced, Urban Decay, and Benefit has never failed me. To each their own reasons as to why I love them.

24. Favorite drugstore makeup brand?

Wet N’ Wild by a longshot. The first makeup brand I ever bought from and right after was Burt’s Bee’s.

25. Favorite nail polish brand?

Essie and Sinful Colors. I always look at the names before I buy them too, I don’t know why, I just find it interesting and I love when I find one that fits the day? I have no real explanation tbh.

26. What was your first makeup item?

My first makeup item was a Wet N’ Wild eyeshadow trio in walking on Eggshells and a Wet N’ Wild lipgloss called “can’t be tamed” that I was obsessed with. It smelled minty and was sparkly.

27. What are you into the most, if you HAD to choose one..Jewelery, Makeup, Shoes, Clothes?

There’s a time when i would have said handbags hands down, but now I would definitely say makeup.

28. What is your favorite shoe store?

DSW.

29. At what age did you start wearing makeup?

Around 12/ 13 and it was every once in a while but all it was, was brown eyeliner. No mascara, no eyeshadow, just thick brown eyeliner on my waterline. Just try and picture that, and then completely erase that image from your mind ahaha

30. Do you wear falsies? If so which brand?

Nope. They freak me out.

I hope you enjoyed this little Q&A… it was completely random but fun. 🙂

Have a great night/ day, and feel free to answer any of these questions in the comments or in your own post!

Thanks for listening to me. ❤