Category Archives: Love

My Thoughts on Period Dramas

Why am I so in love with a world I’ve never known?

A world which was just introduced to me five years ago, has now become another feeling of home.

Though through fiction and film feels real nonetheless as the characters portray who I’ve come to love best; I still sit here and question why I cling to what I know best.

I connect with these characters in such a way that I have no clue of how to explain… the residing feeling of a world I might’ve known if I had simply taken a chance long ago.

Taken a chance on a story that could’ve also been my own, and not just read in a period drama from over 200 years old.

Maybe there’s still a chance, although it’s grown a bit old.

aghhhhh

 

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Comments On Cheating

Cheating isn’t cool.

I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, point blank is that it’s not another thing to add to why one gender is worse than another.

So many comments on all sorts of platforms, including real-life revolve around who cheats more, men, or women. If you are a man it’s likely you’ll say women, and if you are a woman it’s likely you’ll say men, ESPECIALLY if you yourself have experienced cheating. Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone on the planet, however I’d like to think at least some people see where I’m coming from.

To feel as if you can’t trust another person is one level, but to KNOW that someone has the audacity to cheat or hurt and then lie in your face is another.

You, yes YOU deserve better. You deserve to know better, and be loved by better.

I don’t want you to think slimey people are all that exist after one encounter with a partner that just hits the fan. I definitely don’t want that to happen if it was your first relationship.

But I especially don’t want it to become a battle consistently of whether or not men are the biggest cheaters, or women are.

Life is complicated as it is, should we really throw more gasoline on the fire?

Whether or not you were cheated on, know YOU are still fine as hell. There’s zero reason for you to doubt your self-worth, whether or not you were good enough, pretty enough, loving enough, NO.

And there is zero reason to single-out any gender, or place the blame for some of human-kinds misguided and idiotic people on a sole string of incidents that are relatable for almost every person in a comment section.

This is the cheaters problem. It is all the cheaters problem. You may not see the justice now, but know darn well it’s coming and karma will quite simply smack them in the face if you’re not quick enough to yourself.

Do me a favor though, please?

Recognize that it’s not a genders issue, it’s a cheater’s mind.

P.S. Recognize that you’re sad and it’s okay to be sad rather than playing it off… it’s okay to be sad for a while, however long you need to, but also remember that time waits for no one and once you understand they weren’t a waste of time but a blur of lessons, then you can begin to accept that the world will turn with or without that toxic person in you’re life.

And sometimes, too much of a good thing– or what you think is at least– really isn’t so good after all.

Love,

Nat

 

 

It doesn’t get to you 

It doesn’t get to you until you step inside the doorway.
It doesn’t get to you until you hear ” I feel the baby kick.” 
And you’re immediate reaction is to place you’re hand on her stomach. 
It doesn’t get to you until the hour long drive back home that feels like a breeze,
But over time grows more and more distant.
It doesn’t get to you until empty spaces are filled with friends of family.
It doesn’t get to you until you look at the backyard and remember looking up instead of down
It doesn’t get to you until you drive down the road you learned to ride you’re bike on.
You’re first wheels. 
It doesn’t get to you until a tiny hand is placed in the palm of yours and you realize, this is the most precious thing. 
It doesn’t get to you until tears well up in you’re eyes and everything stops briefly.
While you’re hand is on her stomach,
And you can envision the life ahead. 
It doesn’t get to you until then. 
It doesn’t even phase you. 
*** Note: I literally just wrote this out of nowhere thinking of earlier today. Hope you don’t mind me sharing it. I hope you all have a good day too. *** 

Love,

           Nat đź’–

Don’t Fall Too Soon

On the fence of intimidated and comfortable when around him, that is what I felt.

He is the type that says a million things without saying a word, encouraging without drowning your ears with the same old line.

Someone who provides all the happiness in the world, and little confusion.

It’s strange meeting someone like him, someone that understands and listens while you blabber on about your hometown. Then by some twist of fate he happens to know exactly what you’re talking about, because he resides there too.

Yet somehow you’ve never met, but feel as if you’ve known this person you’re whole life.

It’s strange how this works, and even stranger when you see he provides the same for multiple other girls, yet for whatever astounding reason, it still seems independent with you.

He’s not a bad guy, just a good guy with bad intention.

It’s fun to know a good guy, it’s nice to know they exist. But don’t fall too soon for them, for when the time comes it’ll be gone quick.

 

 

Wait 

If you’ve gone through a breakup, a troubling friendship, any situation where you have been wronged and there is no paranoia involved or thoughts of you being the bad guy because you know there was zero way. Fact… 

You need to be patient. 

That jerk is going to message you, call you, email you, what have you… whether it’s 2 days time, 2 months time, or 2 years time they are going to realize they messed up. 

They are going to ask for you back, or ask to be friends. Maybe they are lonely or whatever side project they had didn’t work out for them… whatever the case, don’t disrupt your own life to play along. 

That chapter of your life is over. 

It feels like absolute hell, I know. 

And your going to want to message them right away and go off because you don’t deserve to be treated in such a way, I know. 

But be patient. 

Don’t sit around waiting for them to attempt to redeem themselves— or you. What you need to do is block them or unfriend them at least for a little while to clear any uneccesary garbage from your life that they may throw at you out of the blue. 

It is hard to move on, but after a little while (different times for everyone) it gets easier. 

You don’t believe me now, but please trust me when I say wait. 

And follow your intuition. 

Love, 

            Natđź’–

A first 

There was a wedding tonight for my gorgeous cousin Amelia, I have a few photos, they are on my camera and will be uploaded asap (the latest will be Monday)– in the meantime here are a few photos I took with my phone. Enjoy.❤️14468239_10211048277346581_206707809896738731_o.jpg14445066_10211048276346556_3967579962609990550_o.jpg14481902_10211048276186552_3185248194292710316_o.jpg14435278_10211048274746516_5091857961897216022_o.jpg14524620_10211048278386607_3973218655818879386_o.jpg14542411_10211048278026598_4506772862551191271_o.jpg14468200_10211048279866644_6941259316908200815_o.jpg14543673_10211048282146701_696247517199814154_o.jpg

OOTD and hair 

My outfit was a cropped red American appeal sweatshirt  coupled with an old pair of black jeans from Pacsun and white converse. Here’s a goofy side view.

Here are my shoes ❤️Here is my face. These are a few photos from the other day… Just so you know my hair is still a work in progress. 

This drastic blonde was not at all the intention, it was originally supposed to be a natural Balayage and along the lines there must’ve been a miscommunication between me and the hairstylist because this truly shocked me when I looked in the mirror. But after a couple months of growing it out, it has turned into a bit of an OmbrĂ© effect which I don’t mind.

It’s safe to say I won’t be doing much of anything at all to my hair for a while… 

I’m learning to love it though! 

Thanks for reading,

                                     Natđź’–

Mini Sephora Haul 

So I went to Sephora for about 10 minutes and ended up with a few things I thought I would show you 🙂 

1. First aid beauty ultra repair cream (I use this as my face moisturizer, decided to buy another for backup)2. Benefit’s They’re real mascara 

This is the first ever high end mascara I bought and I decided I wanted to re-fall in love with it 

3. Too faced melted Berry liquid lipstick 

I’ve been wanting this forever and never picked it up, so today was the day I threw all caution to the wind. Safe to say, I love it. 

***This was written in early May or late April I believe. I just found it on my phone. Don’t look too deeply into this please… Just me getting my thoughts out at the time.*** 
You’ve got it
engrained in my mind That I’m just someone occupying your time 

If you really love me why did it take you a month until I said something to realize all your things were gone

Now I’m lying in my bed wondering where it all went wrong 
But I know the answer 

We weren’t there we weren’t there 

I was just a girl to replace her 

You’ll find one to replace me too

That’s just what you do, that’s just what people do 
Well it hurts my heart

And I’m falling apart 

Was I ever really falling together 

All it felt like was rainy weather 

You’d let me go knowing I didn’t feel the same 

Happy like I was when you picked me up for our date 

Then you question why I’m mad as I leave 

As soon as I grabbed the door you turned the key 

Wait for me 

Wait for me 

Don’t wait for me 

I can’t breathe 
Our relationship was founded on me not wanting to be alone 

For that I’m sorry 

But along the way as I grew fond 

You faded away 

That was my mistake 

No, that was our mistake. 
I found our photos in the back of the left drawer 

I didn’t hang them on the wall

Maybe that was a sign then after all

 the second I thought I should 

You decided you weren’t in this 

As I sit on the floor I contemplate if there’s even something to miss 
You and I both know there is. 

But I wonder who’s memories are better 

You say yours are 

But you couldn’t remember me after December 

The last 3 outta 4 months have been nothing but bad 

You said 

After telling me you love me 

After telling me you don’t want to leave 

After saying I could trust you 

After saying it was me you want to keep 

“Yet give it 12 days you’ll get over it 

If I decide I want to let you go”

But honey, this is a two way road. 
After I told you the last straw, was the last straw 

And I had to stick to my word where it didn’t belong 

I tried to get out you pulled my arm…

And god I wanted to love you 

So badly it physically hurts 

But I can’t let someone have so much power over me 

When bridges have been burnt you can’t force someone to love you 

Or yourself to love someone else 

That’s why my feelings always got placed on a shelf

The fear that it was the wrong person or that I was the Wrong person 
When i decide I want to love you, I get a reason not to
This time was worse 

This time it was my own name I cursed 

I can’t take back my word 

I can’t take back my word 

I said as you stared me down 

“Oh look, the building across the street is finished now”

I tried to lighten the mood 

It was too far gone 

And you know what else, we never found a song. 
Maybe it’s time we move along 

We both know it’s best to move along 

But you want to hold on 

And I want to hold on, at least until I can write a good song 

I love you, I really do 

But it’s something in the way you try to sooth 
For the first time I cry, for you to see just what’s happened to me. 

I’m not perfect, but neither are you.

Although you had no idea what to do. 

You put your hand on my knee, for a second it comforted me. 

I think I scared you though. 

You realized for me it wasn’t just words I spoke

The actions were there too

You know now that I love you 

But I can’t stay if I’m not promised you’ll do the same.