Category Archives: Change

Change In Criticism

“Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m dumb? Am I good/clever/cool enough (partially worded from some WikiHow thing I read)?”

STOP IT.

These thoughts are SO ANNOYING. If I had a dollar for every time I thought these when surrounded by a group of people who even so slightly intimidate me, I’d be able to get at least some aspects of my life together.

It’s the feeling of needing to change yourself to “fit in” with whoever it is your speaking to at the moment, or whoever it is your meeting for the first time, or whoever it is you feel this annoying need to be your “best self” (or what you feel people with be most accepting of) for.

It’s a loss, really.

There is NO being yourself all the time, forever.

There are different faces, and different versions of oneself for every situation.

The idea that everyone has a mold to fit into, or a role to play, is also infuriating.

The only piece of advice that seems to make sense is “be yourself,” but that doesn’t mean pick who you want to be and be that person all the time until the day you die.

It means, do what you want, say what you want, wear what you want, see who you want, because You want to, and You feel it is a necessary step in creating a life you feel most happy and yourself in.

If people didn’t change, if they always remained the same, if there was never even a change of simple eyeshadow for instance over the last 4 years, that would be boring. That would insinuate your always the same person.

But if You like that, if you say it’s what you enjoy on your face and you don’t want to change it because your happy with it… that would be a different story.

Because you’re doing what You want and sticking with what You love– not what someone expects.

There are people who like change, and are very open to it– and then there are people who aren’t a fan.

As we age, changes are made in our facial modes, the clothes we wear, the social aspects of our lives and so on… you mean to tell me nothing about you has changed? What about on the inside?

No one is inept to change, we’re all pretty used to it.

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It doesn’t get to you 

It doesn’t get to you until you step inside the doorway.
It doesn’t get to you until you hear ” I feel the baby kick.” 
And you’re immediate reaction is to place you’re hand on her stomach. 
It doesn’t get to you until the hour long drive back home that feels like a breeze,
But over time grows more and more distant.
It doesn’t get to you until empty spaces are filled with friends of family.
It doesn’t get to you until you look at the backyard and remember looking up instead of down
It doesn’t get to you until you drive down the road you learned to ride you’re bike on.
You’re first wheels. 
It doesn’t get to you until a tiny hand is placed in the palm of yours and you realize, this is the most precious thing. 
It doesn’t get to you until tears well up in you’re eyes and everything stops briefly.
While you’re hand is on her stomach,
And you can envision the life ahead. 
It doesn’t get to you until then. 
It doesn’t even phase you. 
*** Note: I literally just wrote this out of nowhere thinking of earlier today. Hope you don’t mind me sharing it. I hope you all have a good day too. *** 

Love,

           Nat 💖

Happy Accidents

Everything happens for a reason.

While I may not understand the reasoning behind some peoples choices or actions, I know what I am capable of and who I am as a person.

I am not lazy, I am not uptight to the point where if I get something wrong that I hide away, because making a mistake or having an assumption be made of me is simply another step into the direction of where I am meant to go.

The only way to battle someones accusations or negativity towards you is to progress in your own life.

Don’t look back, try to find answers in the moment– but if there is the case where you cannot find answers, know that this is sometimes unavoidable.

Not everyone will have an answer for you, nor will you be able to comprehend why one shuts you out of finding an answer.

But, remember, everything happens for a reason.

Normally when something negative, or a string of negative events occur, it is building up to other opportunities. It is up to you to accept the changes, and welcome the new moments.

The new experiences, whether it be love, a job, a person, or something simple like trying a new candy bar, are all good experiences.

Because they are changes, and people need changes in order to grow.

I know that there are moments where you want to do nothing and lay in your bed because the world has gotten you a little too down– but you aren’t meant to stay there forever.

You are meant to get back up, discover your stability, and keep treading forward because you aren’t meant to have it figured out nor are you meant to figure things out.

Sometimes things happen out of nowhere, and thats okay.

Sometimes there are good mistakes and happy accidents, believe it or not.

How else would the red and blue Nintendo Switch have come about for instance.

Love,

Nat

Garnier Girl Now?

This is the garnier whole blends shampoo in “honey treasures.”

It is specified as a repairing shampoo which intends to help with split ends and damage (very much needed for me). It smells like magic, and the cap is adorable and pretty secure despite the leave imprint on it causing it to be slightly nerve wracking if traveling with it. Yet, it’s cute and fits with the natural theme of the line like a gem.

I’m not a major fan of Garnier, it is one of those drugstore brands I haven’t been able to get behind because of past experiences with the brand making my hair appear greasy or breaking out my face. 

BUT, I am in love with this shampoo. I have been eying it for a month or so now, the entire wall which is a sea of different scents with different aspirations for people’s hair– and I decided to dive in too. 


It was between the “honey treasures” and the “mythic olive” one because I found the scents most appealing. 

I have used the “coconut oil and cocoa butter” leave-in-conditioner back in the summer, which smells AMAZING. 

It smells so so good, and I’m going to give credit to my cousin for discovering it. 

The garnier hair care line ranges from $3.47 – $6.29 in price, which is a pretty rad deal when it comes to shampoos. 

My other drugstore favorite would be the Pantene volume range although some have noted it isn’t the best for hair because the shampoo etc. causes buildup eventually thus creating volume, etc. But, my hair always came out looking bomb. 

I decided to step out of my comfort zone (entirely) and try out this garnier whole blends shampoo, I am so not disappointed. 

I plan on trying the olive (woo I’m actually so excited) one too. 

Sleep is For The Smart

One doesn’t really recognize their bad habits until they are staring them in the face. 

For me, mine would be not sleeping. I’ve had a few days at a time where I’ve combated this but for the most part it’s consistently been between 2-3 AM that I fall asleep. 

It’s terrible. It’s something I really want and need to fix. 

I didn’t realize just how horrible until I looked at an anonymous site a minute ago and saw posts I made from 30+ days ago, about getting no sleep, and realized I am in the exact same spot. 

The exact same situation, it’s just with the change of events and time itself it’s easy for those worries to fade away or be brushed off.

I don’t want to brush this off, and I don’t want it to fade away. What I want is for the early bird in me to reappear considering it’s been gone for 3+ years now. 

Don’t ever take for granted sleep, it’s vital for doing everyday things and producing coherent sentences lol. 

Thanks for reading! 

Love, 

              Nat 💖

Fresh Rose Review

This has grown on me.

It started out with me being ecstatic to use it because it smells like roses (one of my favorite things / scents) and then turned into me questioning it.

Yes, I read reviews before buying it (it is about $40), and yes I also googled photos and some information before as well.

I’m not the type to just blow $40, I mean unless I was given $500 or something, which has yet to happen to me at random.

What drew me to it was that Fresh (a company originated in Italy) made it, the one that also makes the one that smells like cucumbers (Youth preserve with lotus etc. etc. very long name) which I also absolutely love– maybe even more than this one. It also has the word “hydration” in it.

On my first use of this, I had SUPER dry skin– the worst to the point where even the moisturizer seemed to pare off on the sides of my face. The absolute worst. It has slowly improved with time whereas the Fresh Lotus one made a change in my skin in a SNAP. I genuinely noticed a difference wishing the first three days whereas with this moisturizer it has taken a few weeks.

It could also very much be due to the fact that I’ve been working my a** off that created a blurred line between noticing good skin and bad.

This winter has been no friend of my skin. So in that case I went on a hunt to find a good moisturizer, I have to tell you that this one is great–but I don’t believe it does the trick for me personally. In terms of favorite moisturizer for all eternity, I have yet to discover that.

I suggest it, but I suggest trying a sample before committing to it as I say with every product ever, yet still holds true. Or if you simply cannot wait but don’t have the budget, try the Fresh Youth preserve travel size for $17.

This Fresh Rose Deep Rehydration Face Cream is moisturizing, reduces redness, has cute and simple packaging, has a fresh scent, and feels like a dream.

It comes in a glass jar (be careful, don’t drop it) with a pink-copper-metallic lid that is chic yet inviting and looks damn good sat on top of a dresser.

❤ Nat

2017 hopes

“How could I be so foolish…”

Something I’ve asked myself quite a few times this year.

In lack of sleep, in 2nd or 7th chances, in letting the the best of me cower behind a facade because I’m too afraid people won’t accept me, for me.

Yes, it’s 1 am as I’m typing this, yes I’m going to hit the pillow afterwards (a form of expression), damn sleep deprivation.

But, I am 100 percent finding myself this year.

I am without a doubt doing that already and have been for the past few months, I have to say that in doing so I’ve realized some aren’t as accepting while others are elated.

I don’t know what to say besides the fact that 2017 is, and has already proven to be my year.

I hope you have a great one too. 🙂

Beauty and The Beast

Beauty and The Beast is one of my favorite Disney films of all time.

Belle is no ordinary princess, she was not born into royalty nor whisked away by a handsome prince. She learned to love the prince for who he was, not through is appearance or what he could give her.

Before the beast stumbled into her life (I am going off the animation version, not the original tale of Beauty and The Beast) where she was considered “weird” yet beautiful by people in her town due to the fact that she read books. Her family also didn’t possess a lot of money, so spoiled is in no way a word to describe Belle.

As always, Belle does her thing and goes about her days, passing the time with a book or talking to her father about his inventions whilst Gaston continues to bug her and ask for her hand in marriage, that conceited son of a b–

 

Now, with the trailers coming out of the new “Beauty and the beast” live action film set to take place in theaters come March 17th (St. Patrick’s day fellow Irish– keep in mind, I only have partial Irish in my blood) it is easy to investigate the differences through the animated film and the soon to be aired, live action movie.

 

I’m not gonna lie, I can already tell lumiere is going to bother me during the entire film because he has two separate legs instead of a candlestick base. :’)

I’m still giving the movie a chance regardless of all of these changes (Of course, they’re attempting to make the movie into real life and it is difficult, hence the need for digital animation and autotune) but so many of these things really didn’t need to be altered??

I mean, chip as another example. I imagined him to be cute, not scare me with his eyes…

beauty-and-the-beast-chip

I’m trying my best to keep an open mind, and I am still incredibly excited for it, but come on. That auto tune is insane.

The auto tune is however noticed prominently more on certain areas of the song rather than the entire thing, which isn’t detrimental.

The reason I love the musical movies (rent, les miz, but les miz especially because a lot of their scenes tended to be live rather than recorded and added to the film making it more raw and emotional) is due to the reality of the situation it delivers rather than pre-recorded or seen on a stage where a lot of the emotions aren’t picked up in facial expressions because they are so far away. Including films that are simply films until the addition of music (because music is something that everyone can understand and feel regardless of language or any sort of barrier between people).

Don’t even get me started about the dress, please. But, seeing the entire blue dress– I felt better about it than originally when there was only the image of the collar and I was just not having it haha.

emma-watson

I imagined it to look like this fan-made (sorry, not sure who created it) image:

b2acf7c151def73ead76335e2714b1fa

As for the winter dress, I wish the puffy hood was still a thing, although the new dress is stunning as well.

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Made by toughtink on Instagram. I absolutely love her dress.

 

I don’t mind the beasts’ horns much, although wouldn’t it have been easier to keep them short like in the animation? Just throwing that out there.

I’m so excited for the movie, I’m sure everyone else is as well, it’s just a few changes we need to get used to even if we would go about them a different way. Although I’m not so sure I could forgive what they did to Chip and Lumiere, time will tell though.

If you envisioned any aspect of the movie to be different, please let me know what and how you would alter it. Also, If your super thrilled for the movie to FINALLY be released, please mention that too. 😛

Nat ❤

❤ Note: All photos and videos are not my own, these belong to the creators and uploaders. ❤

Wait 

If you’ve gone through a breakup, a troubling friendship, any situation where you have been wronged and there is no paranoia involved or thoughts of you being the bad guy because you know there was zero way. Fact… 

You need to be patient. 

That jerk is going to message you, call you, email you, what have you… whether it’s 2 days time, 2 months time, or 2 years time they are going to realize they messed up. 

They are going to ask for you back, or ask to be friends. Maybe they are lonely or whatever side project they had didn’t work out for them… whatever the case, don’t disrupt your own life to play along. 

That chapter of your life is over. 

It feels like absolute hell, I know. 

And your going to want to message them right away and go off because you don’t deserve to be treated in such a way, I know. 

But be patient. 

Don’t sit around waiting for them to attempt to redeem themselves— or you. What you need to do is block them or unfriend them at least for a little while to clear any uneccesary garbage from your life that they may throw at you out of the blue. 

It is hard to move on, but after a little while (different times for everyone) it gets easier. 

You don’t believe me now, but please trust me when I say wait. 

And follow your intuition. 

Love, 

            Nat💖

That day 

I’m sorry I’m so rubbish at talking. I wish I didn’t feel this empty hole as you are sat one row behind me. This is the epitome of embarrassing– an embarassment no one else can feel but the one experiencing it. 

I wish I could rewind to my freshman year and stop myself from uttering words I didn’t mean. Words that had no ounce of truth–the one thing I understand Journalism to be based on. 

You seem happy now– and I’ve never wanted to make you feel anything less, I hope I didn’t back on that day. You deserve every bit of success I know your going to achieve in the future. Now, you’re gone. You’ve just walked out of the door with your love, and you’re moving on to greater things. 

I’m glad I got to know you for a speck of your time. Does your father still wear clogs? I’ve attempted to muster up the courage for the past month now– to say anything pertaining to the day that I regret most. 

I let an old friend go, one I had pushed away with words for him I had not aimed. I wish you the best– I know you’ll find it. I wish you could read this– but I know you never thought to see it. 

Love, 

             Nat💖