My final class

Today I started my final class of my final semester of college (university, for European people) and let me tell you PRAISE ALL THAT IS GOOD.

What’s good, I can’t wait to graduate.

I’m pumped.

But what really is on my mind is that this last semester I had a mental breakdown. A real one. Found myself nearly having a panic attack in the middle of a city I didn’t know because I my bumper just hit another cars bumper. Barely even a scratch, yet things just flipped way way upside down.

I’ve made mistakes, but this by far was my biggest one.

However, some might call it a mistake, I call it something that was meant to happen. It really pulled my family together too, they didn’t realize (well, my sister did the most) just how stressful things were getting to me.

And that’s when I realizded I was hiding it.

Fake “yeah I’m fine’s” in a high pitched tone to sound upbeat, smiling when inside I was screaming “don’t go” when they would leave to make the journey home.

I love my family, missed my family, and now more than ever I know how much they love me just as much as I love them.

Well, rah rah I could go on and on, but I need to touch on this whole bundle of feelings I experienced.

There was definite confusion, anger, hurt, sadness, and even some happiness… but what stood out to me was my anxiety.

It became a problem I couldn’t run away from anymore, and with this I finally found a solution to these nerves that I couldn’t control.

I urge anyone who feels anxious to simply talk to friends, or if like me, talk to a counselor if there are few close friends. It helps SO MUCH. You can event talk to me if you want, I’m all ears.

Love,

Nat 💖

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