“Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m dumb? Am I good/clever/cool enough (partially worded from some WikiHow thing I read)?”
These thoughts are SO ANNOYING. If I had a dollar for every time I thought these when surrounded by a group of people who even so slightly intimidate me, I’d be able to get at least some aspects of my life together.
It’s the feeling of needing to change yourself to “fit in” with whoever it is your speaking to at the moment, or whoever it is your meeting for the first time, or whoever it is you feel this annoying need to be your “best self” (or what you feel people with be most accepting of) for.
It’s a loss, really.
There is NO being yourself all the time, forever.
There are different faces, and different versions of oneself for every situation.
The idea that everyone has a mold to fit into, or a role to play, is also infuriating.
The only piece of advice that seems to make sense is “be yourself,” but that doesn’t mean pick who you want to be and be that person all the time until the day you die.
It means, do what you want, say what you want, wear what you want, see who you want, because You want to, and You feel it is a necessary step in creating a life you feel most happy and yourself in.
If people didn’t change, if they always remained the same, if there was never even a change of simple eyeshadow for instance over the last 4 years, that would be boring. That would insinuate your always the same person.
But if You like that, if you say it’s what you enjoy on your face and you don’t want to change it because your happy with it… that would be a different story.
Because you’re doing what You want and sticking with what You love– not what someone expects.
There are people who like change, and are very open to it– and then there are people who aren’t a fan.
As we age, changes are made in our facial modes, the clothes we wear, the social aspects of our lives and so on… you mean to tell me nothing about you has changed? What about on the inside?
No one is inept to change, we’re all pretty used to it.