Being 20 is just a heightened teenage level, except you add on $40,000 or so’s worth of a college hole to that, along with growing older and distant to being a kid.
This is when you realize life is the complete opposite of easy- or at least when it really crystallizes.
I’ll never lose my love for cartoons or the simple things in life like walking my dog, eating my favorite food on a day off, or browsing the Internet till 2 AM (although, maybe it’d be a good thing to get rid of that).
What I will lose are pieces of who I am.
Everyone changes and morphs into whoever they are meant to be… but that’s with our own decisions– and time.
I want to make good decisions.
I don’t want to overwork myself at the age of 20 until I am wrinkled, lonely, and bombarded all of a sudden by children and some “new chapter of my life” because I went along with what I was expected to do.
I love new chapters, but I believe there is a right time and a right place. At the moment I’m being swarmed with what I THINK I should be doing, and not what I SHOULD be doing at the age of 20.
This is the start to a new decade, I’ve finally almost reached the drinking age, but what about after? What will I be able to look forward to after college is finished and I’m legally able to do everything I’d need to (in talking about smoking and drinking which I’ve never had a massive interest in).
This year I am dedicating myself to my work and my goals. Not focusing on making money, more so working towards my future.
Although, we all need money, to live. It is what it is in that case, but should everyone be worked to the core in order to thrive… or if we end up lucky, are we destined to forget the feeling of work and the accomplished feeling afterwards?
Work, work, work, work, work, is all I feel like I’m doing.
I love my job, I love the people I work with, however I can’t stay in this place for the rest of my life, nor should I allow myself to feel like this is all there will ever be for me, because I’m only 20.
It’s a big number, but it’s also tiny. I still have about 60 years to go (knock on wood).
Something as little as saying “no” to working more guts me, yet not at all because I know I deserve some time off.
What life is it I’m living?
Is it my own, or the life I feel I’m supposed to?
Maybe everyone’s right and this feeling is only temporary, however, how can I grow if this is all I know.
I hope your all living you’re best life.