I Know, I’m Impossible

You want to know something?

I’ve felt pretty alone (I did have my family, so not entirely) since I was about 16.

Normally, I would say the last couple of years but I need to face reality.

I haven’t been living my life to the fullest.

I’m 20 years old now.

20 years old- the time for a new decade.

I want to make it fun to look back on, not sad.

I’m not a sad person, I know I’m not. I’ve had moments that were really bad where I’ve cried or felt broken for days, so at least I know I’m human.

However, everyone has obstacles.

For me one of the obstacles is loving who I am. I do, but in public I’m incredibly shy so I choose to pretend as if I’m invisible to avoid confrontation and embarrassing the hell out of myself.

But, the thing that builds character is going through these moments. The embarrassing, sad, random moments the universe throws at us.

At least I can say I’ve always tried to handle them in a mature way.

But, sometimes we need to take the route of maturity, not the high road necessarily, but the smart way.

I never want anyone to feel miserable, and I know that I can keep that promise along with one to myself, to just be myself and sometimes letting other people take care of me.

I know, I’m impossible.

But what 20 year olds life doesn’t feel impossible?

There have been some people that in some way, somehow, understand me. And to those people, thank you.

Love,

Nat

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