Don’t mind me

I don’t know how to start. This may be a blob of words that make no sense, but it’s something to help me de-clutter my mind. 
Over the last year there have been many ups and downs, but in this last week alone there are some that I can’t ignore or pretend haven’t happened. 

I feel it is important to recognize when a change needs to be made– especially when it is for the better. 

Now, I am no expert on the right and wrong decision making, because I am still learning myself. Although, I know my intentions have always been good, there has been a roadblock here and there as to what to do about personal matters. 

I am constantly trying to make good choices, and cheer up those who need it as well… But sometimes life is hard and it gets in the way of what is right and wrong for me. 

With every choice that needs to be made there are two paths, and as much as I wish there was a giant flashing light pointing me to where I need to go sometimes, I realize that some things just happen without any real explanation. 

It absolutely sucks.

I want you all to know that it is okay to be selfish sometimes. It is okay to say no. It is okay to do things for others, but make sure you do things for yourself every once in a while too. 

Don’t get caught up in pleasing everyone around you, and then look around one day to find that you yourself, are not yourself and are completely unhappy. 

I found out late (or early if you count 3 am as early) on Friday, Christina Grimmie passed away. I found out through Twitter that she was in critical condition and then I found out that she was gone. This is still something I find hard to believe or accept. 

I began watching her YouTube videos when I was 12 years old– an inspiration is an understatement. A talented girl is an understatement. 

She was much more than that, she really helped us (TeamGrimmie and more) through a lot. 

I know me for one would listen to her song “liar liar” on repeat every single day back in 2011, and anticipated her new albums like they were magic. When she announced a tour with Selena Gomez, I felt ecstatic for her. When she auditioned for the voice I was cheering and jumping behind my tv screen as the judges turned around. She knew exactly how to put her heart and soul into everything she has done in her life and that is something I cherish and have looked up to since I discovered her channel. 

Anyone that has ever met her will tell you that she was one of a kind, and while I never had the chance to meet her I am forever grateful I got to see an amazing talent and person grow. Even if it was just through a screen on the computer. 

Now, I ask you, what in the hell are the motives for shooting a young 22-year old girl who welcomed literally everyone with open arms and a smile? 

I am still in shock, and I know that the world has lost a treasure of a person. 

I think we should all learn a lesson from Christina Grimmie and open our arms and our hearts, as tragedies face us. 

It’s important to recognize a change needs to be made. I do not want to live in a world of fear, no one does. But respect for one another is essential, and harming ANYONE in any way due to who they are as a person or what they believe in, is absolutely disgusting.

My deepest sorrows are for Grimmie’s family, friends, and fans. She was a great person, and she will be remembered by me for the rest of my life, as well as many more, as the kind-spirited, funny, and humble person we all got the chance to know for a little while. 

Things are rough right now, and I never talk about these things, but this was eating away at my heart. 
Thank you all for reading, 

                                   Nat💚 

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