Some thoughts

I’ve rediscovered something I’ve known to be true for a while now. It’s that people aren’t always true, people don’t always understand and people aren’t always forgiving. Now, also it’s apparent that not everything is other peoples fault. It’s a matter of accepting the possibility or truth that you yourself have done wrong in some way as well (depending on the situation).

There will always be those people who have an amazing way of turning things inside out, they make you feel guilty for not wanting what they want, or not seeing things the way they see them. The truth of the matter is everyone has an opinion, everyone has little quirks and things that make them them, its a matter of surrounding yourself with the people that see all of that and accept you anyways.

Sometimes it’s hard to let people see the sides of you you don’t normally put out, whether it’s your fun side, scary side, dorky side, competitive side, whatever it may be. But the truth of the matter is you don’t know unless you try. Some things are easier said than done such as “oh I’m totally going to start that paper at 4” and then you look at the clock right on time and pretend you didn’t see it. Or maybe you have a blog that you’re trying to keep up with so you say okay I’m going to write this amount of days and about this. But sometimes people want to do something different. Sometimes people NEED to do something different.

But sometimes it’s a matter of getting off your caboose and simply doing it because if you don’t, time will pass. Time never stops. It’s better to do something productive rather than nothing at all and let the entire day slip away.

Resolve a goal, go for a walk, buy that sweater online you had a few years back that was the most comfortable thing you’ve ever owned, make mistakes, be smart in your decisions, cry if you have to, write if you have to, message that old friend, try to tie up loose ends, do whatever it is you have to do to feel ready to live your life. The simplest change can make the greatest impact.

Sometimes we make decisions we think we’ll regret or maybe we do regret and I wish I could say it’s okay but in the moment it’s not. It’s not okay. But you know what is? The fact that days, months, years down the line none of it is going to matter. What’s going to matter is how you made people feel and how you yourself feel.  No one is going to care or know about the time you tumbled all the way down the stairs in 6th grade, or the time that picture of you with absolutely no makeup being played over a big screen against your knowledge to the entire student body on your last day of school, and lets not forget the last talk you had with that person you loved dearly who passed away, or the time the mean girl threw candy at you along with a bunch of other nonsense, or the time when you were on top of the world after you finally showed what you were capable of in a class with a teacher who thought little of you.

It’s tough being the bigger person. It’s tough letting people slip in and out of your life voluntarily. But you can’t shut yourself off from the world. You cant pretend everything is going to be okay if you stay locked in your room watching “Friends” and “New Girl” episodes in order to cope with whatever history you may have had. You’ll never get anywhere that way. You need to stand up, grab hold of whatever courage you have, and grip life by the damn horns.

The way to let go of things or show people who you are is not to just tell them everything from the get-go, especially if its in a random cringe-worthy moment of life where you thought you were doing a good thing but ended up coming back to haunt you. The truth is you need to accept whatever has happened in the past and work on now.

Focus on NOW, not the past, not the future, but now, this present day and time. Whatever progress you make right now in this moment every single day, any bit of progress, will amount and add up to something great. Life can change in an instant, so why not make good changes rather than reflecting on past moments and being stuck. Who’s to say what life will bring you, only you decide that because it’s up to you how to live your life.

No matter what has happened in your life, whether good, bad, embarrassing, just make sure you’re doing whatever you can to make NOW good.


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